I’m currently in the process of looking for a new job, which means I’ve been spending my spare time completing the arduous task of filling out application after application. I could write a Mein Kamph-caliber manifesto on why job searching is a massive pain in the ass that closely resembles that brought on by hemorrhoids, but I’ll boil my frustrations down to one simple point: Why should I have to fill out the same thing over and over when all of the information is on my resume? It drives me up a fucking wall that I have to repeatedly type the same things that I’ve already taken the time to carefully categorize in a page in a half for both the convenience of my possible employer and myself. Where I went to school? It’s on my resume. Employment history? It’s on my resume. Hyperbolized bullshit to make me look like a better job candidate than I really am? It’s on my resume

Alongside how much this unnecessary repetition makes me want to pull my hair out and look like Britney Spears in 2009, there is something else that I’ve come to realize is absolute nonsense while applying to new places I can hate going to everyday. That thing is affirmative action.

If you don’t know what affirmative action is, here is the official definition

Sounds okay at face value, but lets not mince words here. What this really means and does really is it allows less qualified people to receive preferential treatment for things like job offers and acceptance to universities in the name of diversity. They accomplish this forced diversity by asking candidates questions like their gender, race, sexual orientation, etc., and quite frankly, it just doesn’t make any sense to me

Now I know what some of you are probably thinking: “Of course this white guy doesn’t understand affirmative action. HE’S WHITE!”. True as that may be, it doesn’t explain the usefulness of affirmative action. How does disregarding skill and picking and choosing between people based solely on things like race make any sense? Better yet, how is that fair? How is that smart? How is that an efficient way of running a business? Answer: It isn’t

First of all, because I’m sure those that disagree with me on this opinion will say I am, I’m not a racist. I grew up in a diverse neighborhood, and I was always raised to believe that everybody was equal and should be treated as such. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. If you’re a dick to me, I’ll be a dick to you. It doesn’t matter what your skin color/gender/whatever is, just be a decent person and I’ll reciprocate. Despite what cable news might try convincing you every night, I would say that most people also operate this way. This isn’t the 50’s anymore, and while racism is still a problem and there are no shortage of present day examples, let’s stop pretending that we’re still living under Jim Crowe Laws

Moving on, I find it interesting that many people who support affirmative action cite the Civil Rights Movement as the reason for why it is essential. The reason I find this interesting is because doesn’t affirmative action sort of go directly against what leaders like Martin Luther King were fighting against? MLK had a dream to end discrimination across the board, as he bravely and correctly stated that people should be judged on the content of their character and not irrelevant things like their skin color. I understand that affirmative action’s intent was to end discrimination, but in reality it just rebranded it. Now we’re seeing clear discrimination the opposite way, against people that are just as qualified for things but happen to fall into certain racial and gender categories that have been deemed not worthy of assistance. I don’t know about you, but purposely skipping over somebody that is just as, if not more, qualified for something and then giving that something to somebody that is less qualified simply because the latter person is a certain race or gender sounds pretty discriminatory to me. In fact, that’s almost the word for word defintion of discrimination! So even though affirmative action acts under the guise of “Positive discrimination”, I’d argue there’s no such thing. Discrimination is pretty cut-and-dry, so either it is okay across the board or it isn’t. I’m saying it isn’t, and if you think some forms of discrimination are great but others are not, you’re probably an idiot

For example, Boston Fire Department has come under fire recently due to this issue.  People complained that the vast majority of BFD is white males, which I’d like to acknowledge is true. But why is that true? Well before looking into any facts about why that might be the case, people just started bitching about it and didn’t think about it. Instead of putting their thinking caps on for a second and saying things like, “Gee, there are a lot of white males in Massachusetts that want to be firefighters. It is clearly the most popular race and gender combination that applies for this job, and the numbers properly reflect that. Makes perfect sense to me. Nothing wrong with that”. But rather than accept facts like that or any other racial statistics of who usually applies to be a firefighter, they just cry about racism instead.

The truth is that anybody that isn’t a white male can take the civil service test in Massachusetts and dance their way into any civil service position they want to, and anybody that lives here knows this is true. I had a buddy of mine (White guy) score a 98% on the police exam, and he still didn’t make it onto Boston police?. Want to know who did make it onto Boston police? People that scored much lower than a 98%, but just happen to be a different race or gender than my friend was. How is that fair? Better yet, how is that smart? “Ah yes, let’s get a bunch of less qualified people to do a physically demanding and potentially life-or-death job just so we can be woke and brag about what a diverse department we have”. That is basically what decisions like this boil down to, and it’s madness.

Since I’m sure the haters will try to say I’m just some angry white guy complaining about anti-shite discrimination, here’s another example. Harvard University has also come under fire for proven discrimination against Asian students during the admissions process. What do you have to say about that? Exactly. The most qualified candidates should get the job, end of story. I don’t care what your race, gender, sexual orientation, whatever is, there is no logical reason why a less qualified candidate deserves something over a more qualified candidate simply because of shallow things they can’t change about themselves, like race or gender (Well I guess you can change the second one now because people have lost their fucking minds)

Before anybody even says it, I’m not using affirmative action as an excuse for my difficult job search. I’ve been having trouble getting a new job mostly because I’m a lazy idiot that doesn’t push myself to my full potential, but the job search itself is what made me think about this issue because literally every application has questions like race, gender etc. and I just think it’s a giant crock of shit and a backwards way of thinking. It separates us into groups again where some receive preferential treatment over others, and that needs to be left in the past because it is exactly what the Civil Rights Movement sought to end. That’s why I personally think we should do away with asking questions like “What’s your race?” and “What’s your gender?” altogether on job applications. All that should matter is your credentials, and the best applicants should get the job. If that means more men get the job than women, so be it. If that means more asians get the job than whites, so be it. If you have to force diversity, it isn’t really diversity, and diversity should never supersede skill level and who truly deserves the job. Discrimination isn’t magically okay just because you rename and rebrand it as something else, so fuck affirmative action. The only affirmative action I agree with is for veterans. If you had bullets whizzing by your head you can hop to the front of the line when you get back, but that’s it. Actually, I like this affirmative action too

PS: While I was filling out applications, I kept contemplating saying I was a Native American transgender woman in the spirit of 2019. Who are they to say that I’m not? Apparently you can just identify as whatever now, and if anybody disagrees, I can sue them. It 100% would have increased my odds of getting a job. Win win, but I pussed out and decided to be honest and admit I’m just another boring white guy.