While talking to reporter’s in a post game interview on Monday night, John Gruden provided us with another reason to love the guy. Apparently the player’s tunnel smelled like a skunk and Gruden gave the most dad explanation of all time for why that was. Turns out there was just a skunk running around in there, it definitely wasn’t because the players were smoking weed before the game. I mean, this is Oakland Raiders we’re talking about here. Do you really think guys like Marshawn Lynch and Martavis Bryant (Who literally just got done serving a drug related suspension) would ever smoke marijuana? No way Jose, that’s just crazy talk. The only logical explanation is that a skunk made it’s way into the locker room and started spraying everywhere. Case closed.
While we’re on the relationship between skunks and the smell of weed, that was always such a hilarious part of growing up to me. Our parents all smoked weed that resembled dirt and small twigs, so the idea that today’s weed smells skunky is such a foreign concept to them. I can’t count the number of times I would come home baked and raid the snack cabinet only to have my mom say, “I think theres a skunk outside”. Your heart would drop for a second, but then you’d just have to play it cool. I have a small patch of woods behind my house, so luckily for me nature always had my back. Oh it smells like a skunk? Huh, must have wandered out of the woods or something. The smell definitely isn’t coming from my sweatshirt or anything like that. Meanwhile I’m in the kitchen talking to my mom like
I think my explanation explains the Raider’s loss Monday night a lot better than a skunk does. The Raiders, with the exception of Jared Cook who went off, were definitely playing like they had all smoked a blunt or 2 before the game. I had friends who would smoke before games in high school and I never understood why. Weed would make me not want to tackle anybody, and it sure as shit doesn’t seem like being tackled while high would be fun. I’d rather just get stoned on my couch than before playing in a nationally broadcasted professional sporting event, but hey to each their own I guess. All I know is Roger Goodell is gonna have the Raiders pissing in cups faster than you can say, “The NFL needs to chill the fuck out about weed”.
PS: If you don’t bet on the Ravens tonight you’re a fucking idiot #FreeMoney