I know Week 16 is already 2 and a half games in, but similar to what happened around Thanksgiving, Christmas has swept me up in a food and booze filled tornado so I haven’t had the chance to write this blog up

Thankfully, I found this little window to recap last week’s games, so let’s get right into it

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THURSDAY

LA Chargers @ Las Vegas Raiders: RAIDERS -3❌❌❌

SATURDAY

Buffalo Bills @ Denver Broncos: BILLS -5.5✅✅✅

Carolina Panthers @ Green Bay Packers: PACKERS -9.5❌❌❌

SUNDAY

Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings: VIKINGS -2.5❌❌❌

Detroit Lions @ Tennessee Titans: TITANS -9✅✅✅

Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts: COLTS -7☑️☑️☑️

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Baltimore Ravens: JAGUARS +14❌❌❌

New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins: DOLPHINS ML✅✅✅

San Francisco 49ers @ Dallas Cowboys: COWBOYS +3.5✅✅✅

Seattle Seahawks @ Washington Football Team: SEAHAWKS -6.5❌❌❌

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons: BUCS -6.5❌❌❌

NY Jets @ LA Rams: RAMS -16.5❌❌❌

Philadelphia Eagles @ Arizona Cardinals: CARDINALS -6.5✅✅✅

Kansas City Chiefs @ New Orleans Saints: CHIEFS -3☑️☑️☑️

Cleveland Browns @ NY Giants: BROWNS -6.5✅✅✅

MONDAY

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals: STEELERS -13.5❌❌❌

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When all was said and done, I ended up going 6-8-2 in Week 15. This marks the 3rd time I’ve gone negative this season, and as a result, there’s no Johnny Drama GIF. Instead, cue up the more appropriate Simon and Garfunkel GIF

So what went wrong? Plenty of things went wrong, so let’s take a closer look at my 8 losses in Week 15

WEEK 15 LOSS RECAPS

RAIDERS (-3): My week started out with a loss so bad that I debated going for a walk at midnight with a foot of snow on the ground. Both of these teams suck, but I went with The Raiders here because they needed this game a hell of a lot more than The Chargers did. If they had any chance of keeping their playoff hopes alive, they needed a win here but they couldn’t even do that. This game had no business going to OT, but they let it happen. And then in OT they won the coin toss, marched down the field, and seemingly had The Chargers on the ropes. But instead of punching in a game-sealing TD with first and goal, awful play calls led to them only getting a field goal. This gave the ball back to Justin Herbert and The Chargers, and they marched down the field and did what the pathetic Raiders couldn’t and scored a touchdown FINAL SCORE: 30-27 CHARGERS

PACKERS (-9.5): One of my big problems gambling-wise this season has been refusing to notice patterns and learning from history. The Packers have been the kings of dominating the first half and then screeching to a halt in the second half all season, which gives the other team plenty of opportunities to backdoor cover. I know all of this and have gotten burned because of it multiple times this, yet for some reason I still bit the hook on a big spread like this. Obviously disappointing that The Packers only put up 3 points in the second half, but this was a bad bet by me here FINAL SCORE: 24-16 PACKERS

VIKINGS (-2.5): This matchup was a coin flip game for me because I wouldn’t buy stock in either of these teams, but ultimately I went with The Vikings because they were at home. That’s about it. Both teams have been very inconsistent, but it seems like The Bears have finally figured out that Montgomery is a beast. I don’t know what took them so long, but he’s been awesome lately and is the sole reason I might consider taking The Bears in the coming weeks. Vikings showed a little bit of second half life, but it wasn’t enough FINAL SCORE: 33-27 BEARS

JAGUARS (+14): I don’t have much to say about this game. I took a shot on The Jags with 2 free touchdowns, but they got blown the fuck out by The Ravens instead. It’s funny because there were 3 huge spreads like this in Week 15, this was the only one I trusted the underdog in, and I went 0-3 on all of them. I’d be laughing if it didn’t cost me money, but it did FINAL SCORE: 40-14 RAVENS

SEAHAWKS (-6.5): Russ and The Seahawks are becoming very unreliable lately, and this week was no different. Their defense sucks, but they actually played pretty well in this game up until the very end. The score was 20-3 Seahawks heading into the 4th quarter, and that’s when the backdoor swung open as Washington went in to score 12 unanswered points and killed my bet FINAL SCORE: 20-15 SEAHAWKS

BUCS (-6.5): This bet seemed dead all game, but at the end of the day, The Falcons are The Falcons and manages to piss away another multi-TD lead this season. Even with this Bucs comeback, it didn’t seem possible that this bet would hit because The Bucs had the lead and the ball, so everybody thought they would just knee it out. But then, The Bucs got stopped on 3rd down and it gave me some hope that they’d kick a field goal and cover (at least I thought). Watching it live Fournette wasn’t even close to getting the first down, but the asshole refs felt otherwise, gave the first down, and that iced the game. Absolute bullshit. Here’s the picture, you be the judge FINAL SCORE: 31-27 BUCS

RAMS (-16.5): Here was the second of the big spreads this week, and this game was an absolute anomaly. The New York Jets, who didn’t have a win all season and were 17 point underdogs, shocked the world and beat The Rams outright in LA. I’m not too crazy about The Rams anyway, but I still have no idea what happened here. Once again, I’d laugh a lot harder if it didn’t cost me money, but it makes sense that this bet lost too because when it rains it pours FINAL SCORE: 23-20 JETS

STEELERS (-13.5): Last but not least, another big spread game whose end result was a statistical anomaly. I’ve thought The Steelers were frauds all year and their undefeated record didn’t convince me of anything, but I was still more than willing to lay the points here. The Bengals lost their franchise QB and have been a mess ever since, but I guess Juju’s stupid fucking dancing moves before the game sparked a fire in them, because they came out with something to prove and then some. The score was 17-0 Bengals at half, so at least I knew this game was over at that point and could stop watching. Fuck The Steelers. I hope The Browns win the division and those black and gold frauds get bounced in the first round FINAL SCORE: 27-17 BENGALS

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Lastly, I have some comic relief for you. Believe it or not, my Why Not Teaser for Week 15 didn’t hit for what feels like the 1,000th week in a row. Here was my teaser:

-Colts -1.5✅

-Jaguars +20.5❌

-Browns ML✅

-Chiefs +4✅

Infuriating that the only thing that fucked this up was The Jags. You guys couldn’t cover +20.5? Come on

And that’s that. This was a shitty week for me, and this 6-8-2 finish moves my record for the season to 124-95-6. So even though I went negative, I’m still having a great year so I’m not gonna let this get to me. The only thing to do now is win it all back and then some in Week 16

I’m working on my Week 16 picks right now, and I should have that blog up either tonight or tomorrow morning, so be on the lookout

2020-21 NFL GAMBLING BY WEEK

Week 1: 8-8☑️☑️☑️

Week 2: 8-7-1✅✅✅

Week 3: 9-6-1✅✅✅

Week 4: 10-5✅✅✅

Week 5: 7-7☑️☑️☑️

Week 6: 11-3✅✅✅

Week 7: 7-7☑️☑️☑️

Week 8: 5-8-1❌❌❌

Week 9: 8-6✅✅✅

Week 10: 10-3-1✅✅✅

Week 11: 6-8❌❌❌

Week 12: 10-6✅✅✅

Week 13: 9-6✅✅✅

Week 14: 9-7✅✅✅

Week 15: 6-8-2❌❌❌

SEASON RECORD: 124-95-6

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