Life is plenty of things, but above all, it’s expensive. The accumulative costs of bills, food, and leisure activities quickly add up, and sometimes you have to work 2 jobs just to get by

Now despite my perceived laziness, I’m no stranger to having 2 jobs at once. From the ages of 16-22, I worked a variety of shitty service jobs while also selling weed. I really wish I could put this information on my resume to show my great work ethic and versatility, but something tells me that the secondary profession I had isn’t the same type of sales experience that most companies are looking for

Another person that has been working multiple jobs lately is Lauren Kwei. She’s a 23 year old EMT from NYC who went viral recently not for her ambulance-related work, but instead because she started selling sexual content on OnlyFans for some extra money

There are a few things that bother me about this story, but none of them have to do with the fact that this girl had an OnlyFans. As far as that goes, I like this girl’s hustle. In my eyes, the more promiscuity and sexuality there is in the world, the better. I think that sex work, up to and including prostitution, should be legal and regulated anyway, so if you want to sell pictures of your tits on OnlyFans, more power to you. In fact, I’m a little bit jealous, because I wish I could start my own OnlyFans for some extra spending money. I know some of you are probably thinking to yourselves that nothing is stopping me from doing so, but something tells me that my racy pictures wouldn’t generate the same amount of interest as hers do

Moving on, one of the things that does bother me about this story is more of a general question about Only Fans itself: How is OnlyFans a thing? I’m not saying that in a moral way; I mean it in a practical way. Who are all of these horny dudes that are paying top dollar for nude pictures and videos? Have they ever heard of the Internet? I promise you guys that there is way better and free sexual content online than there is on OnlyFans, but if you want to pay for it instead, be my guest

The second thing that bothers me about this story is everybody feeling bad for her. Do you guys not understand that this girl just hit the lottery? Once the story broke, AOC and a bunch of other blue checkmarks on Twitter tweeted out their support for her, and multiple news outlets have written about this story. All of this exposure is going to bring a ton of traffic and money to her OnlyFans account, and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if there is already a GoFundMe set up for her. She’s gonna walk away from this ordeal with a million dollars and moderate Only Fans fame, so let’s dial it down a bit when it comes to sending our thoughts and prayers to this woman

As I sit in front of my computer on this frigid Friday “working my ass off”, stories like this have me wondering if there’s a better way. Should I start selling pictures of my balls on Only Fans and hope people buy them? Should I quit my job and start selling drugs again? Should I fake my own death and collect the insurance money? These are all valid questions and options, but for now, I guess I’ll continue being a cube monkey that collects a decent paycheck while working from home and not doing jack shit. Happy Friday everybody!

PS: This wicked hot girl I went to high school with has an OnlyFans, and I kinda want to subscribe to it. I know I said in the blog that it’s a waste of money and there’s already a shitload of porn on the Internet, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see this girl naked. Always have, and always will. It’s Friday and I got paid today, so if this thought crosses my mind later after a few beers, I might have to finally pull the trigger. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a discount because we grew up together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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