NFL Betting Results (Week 13)

Every week I take my laziness to new levels, and I’m really behind on posting these results this time around. On the bright side, it is good to know that I can still find ways to impress and surprise myself, even it is for things like procrastination

Anyway, Week 13 came and went, so let’s take a look back at how I did

SUNDAY

Cincinnati Bengals @ Miami Dolphins: DOLPHINS -9.5✅✅✅

Cleveland Browns @ Tennessee Titans: TITANS -3❌❌❌

Detroit Lions @ Chicago Bears: LIONS +3.5✅✅✅

Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans: COLTS ML✅✅✅

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Minnesota Vikings: VIKINGS -8❌❌❌

Las Vegas Raiders @ NY Jets: RAIDERS -7❌❌❌

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons: SAINTS ML✅✅✅

LA Rams @ Arizona Cardinals: CARDINALS +3.5❌❌❌

NY Giants @ Seattle Seahawks: SEAHAWKS -9.5❌❌❌

New England Patriots @ LA Chargers: PATRIOTS +3.5✅✅✅

Philadelphia Eagles @ Green Bay Packers: PACKERS -8✅✅✅

Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs: CHIEFS -13.5❌❌❌

MONDAY

Washington Football Team @ Pittsburgh Steelers: FOOTBALL TEAM +7.5✅✅✅

Buffalo Bills @ San Francisco 49ers: BILLS ML✅✅✅

TUESDAY

Dallas Cowboys @ Baltimore Ravens: RAVENS -8✅✅✅


When all was said and done, I ended up going 9-6 in Week 13. Still plenty of room for improvement, but a positive week nonetheless. For that reason, cue up the Johnny Drama GIF

Week 13 was still completely up in the air after the Sunday night game, as I was 6-6 at that point, but thankfully I rallied and finished the week strong with 3 wins. But it wasn’t all smiles last week, so let’s take a closer look at my 6 losses

WEEK 13 LOSS RECAPS

TITANS (-3): I’ve always been a firm believer that if I’m going to lose a bet, that team might as well get blown the fuck out. There is nothing worse than losing a close bet, and that’s why there was a weird feeling of peace for me in this game. Baker Mayfield and company must have eaten an extra bowl of Wheaties for breakfast or something, because their offense bent The Titans over and went to town on them. It was 38-7 at halftime, but Tennessee came to life a little bit and clawed their way back in the second half, so much so that it actually bothered me. Where was this effort the rest of the game? You guys already blew it, so I didn’t appreciate the false hope that this last minute comeback gave me FINAL SCORE: 41-35 BROWNS

VIKINGS (-8): Serious question: Are The Vikings the best terrible NFL team this year? I think they are. I know I’ve complained about The Patriots being a bipolar team, but The Vikings are ten times worse. When you look at the talent on their roster and some of the games they’ve won this year, and you compare it to some of the games they’ve lost or didn’t cover this year, it would make even the smartest people scratch their heads. This was a classic case of playing down to your competition and almost getting burned. I mean for fucks sake, The Jags are in tank mode and eyeing the number 1 pick in the draft. How did you let this game be this close at home? Overtime? Against a team that is tanking? Unbelievable stuff. A bettor’s nightmare, but still unbelievable stuff FINAL SCORE: 27-24 VIKINGS

RAIDERS (-7): I didn’t have much of an opinion on The Raiders before this year, but they are quickly becoming my least favorite team to bet on. I thought their embarrassing Falcons loss was bad, but turns out they had even more shitty play left in their arsenal. The Jets, another team in tank mode, and it comes down to a last second touchdown? The Raiders should have lost this game, had it not been for the fact that nobody is better at beating themselves than The Jets. Once again, just an unreal finish, but not in a good way FINAL SCORE: 31-28 RAIDERS

CARDINALS (+3.5): The Cardinals are one of those teams that I bet on very one-dimensionally. When I see them getting points as underdogs, I think to myself, “Their offense is great. What a lock!”, completely disregarding the fact that their defense is non-existent. Sometimes their offense alone is enough to cover and their defensive struggles don’t matter, but when they pair up against a well-rounded team like The Rams, you bet your ass it does. Close, but no cigar FINAL SCORE: 38-28 RAMS

SEATTLE (-9.5): In what was easily the upset of the week, The Seahawks lost at home to a Colt McCoy-led NY Giants team. Remember all that stuff I said in the last paragraph about only thinking about the good offense and disregarding the bad defense? That all applies to The Seahawks too. The deciding factor for me in this game ended up being that The Seahawks were at home, therefore The Giants had to make the cross-country flight. Historically, and I don’t fully know why, but teams tend to play worse the longer the flight is. But I guess The Giants spent the extra airtime studying plays and shit, because they came ready to play and pulled off the upset FINAL SCORE: 17-12 GIANTS

CHIEFS (-13.5): By the time this game rolled around last Sunday night, I was half the man I started the day as. I was 6-5, and becoming increasingly more nervous that a negative week was coming. But I had nothing to fear now, I kept telling myself. Certainly The Chiefs will roll right over this Broncos team that was rebounding from Covid and playing a road game. Well it turns out when it rains it pours, and The Chiefs couldn’t seem to get any offense going in this one. They’d end up putting enough on the board to win, but The Broncos did just enough to fuck over all of us that trusted The Chiefs as double-digit favorites FINAL SCORE: 22-16 BRONCOS


Lastly, for some comic relief, let’s take a look at my Why Not Teaser from Week 13:

-Seahawks -3.5❌

-Packers -3✅

-Chiefs -7❌

-Bills +8✅

If you’ve been following along with these, it is simply unreal that I just can’t seem to put a winning teaser together. I’ve gone positive or even every week this year except for 2 weeks, yet I’ve NEVER hit on these weekly teasers. How do I always manage to pick mostly right picks, but then choose the wrong ones to put in a teaser? Statistically, these teasers defy statistics

And that’s that. Week 13’s 9-6 record moves my record for the season to 109-80-4, so despite my teaser and college football/basketball struggles, I’ve been killing it lately. If I wasn’t losing so much money on college sports I could probably fill a kiddie pool with my winnings, but instead, since I’m an idiot and can’t resist betting college sports, I’ll just have to accept my moderate winnings for now

I’m about 75% done with my Week 14 picks, and I should have that blog up tomorrow morning. But for now, it’s time to get drunk and watch Christmas movies just like the Good Lord intended

Week 1: 8-8☑️☑️☑️

Week 2: 8-7-1✅✅✅

Week 3: 9-6-1✅✅✅

Week 4: 10-5✅✅✅

Week 5: 7-7☑️☑️☑️

Week 6: 11-3✅✅✅

Week 7: 7-7☑️☑️☑️

Week 8: 5-8-1❌❌❌

Week 9: 8-6✅✅✅

Week 10: 10-3-1✅✅✅

Week 11: 6-8❌❌❌

Week 12: 10-6✅✅✅

Week 13: 9-6✅✅✅

SEASON RECORD: 109-80-4

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@ BoozeBlogsChuck

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