It took over a week to do so, but I think my brain is finally starting to recover from Thanksgiving. I don’t know if it was because of all the Covid restrictions or what, but for some reason I went harder than usual this year. I ate too much, I drank too much, and most importantly, I did absolutely nothing proactive besides laying on the couch and watching football
There was no Thursday Night Football this week because of the Steelers/Ravens game getting pushed back 1,000 times, so Week 13 hasn’t started yet and I’m technically ahead of schedule right now. Gotta love that. Anyway, let’s take a look at how I did in Week 12
THANKSGIVING
Houston Texans @ Detroit Lions: TEXANS -2.5✅✅✅
Washington a Football Team @ Dallas Cowboys: FOOTBALL TEAM +3.5✅✅✅
SUNDAY
Arizona Cardinals @ New England Patriots: CARDINALS -2.5❌❌❌
Carolina Panthers @ Minnesota Vikings: PANTHERS +3.5✅✅✅
Cleveland Browns @ Jacksonville Jaguars: BROWNS -6.5❌❌❌
LA Chargers @ Buffalo Bills: BILLS -4✅✅✅
Las Vegas Raiders @ Atlanta Falcons: RAIDERS -3❌❌❌
Miami Dolphins @ NY Jets: DOLPHINS -6.5✅✅✅
NY Giants @ Cincinnati Bengals: GIANTS -5❌❌❌
Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts: TITANS +3.5✅✅✅
New Orleans Saints @ Denver Broncos: SAINTS -13.5✅✅✅
San Francisco 49ers @ LA Rams: RAMS -6❌❌❌
Kansas City chiefs @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: BUCS +4✅✅✅
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers: PACKERS -8✅✅✅
Seattle Seahawks @ Philadelphia Eagles: SEAHAWKS -5✅✅✅
MONDAY
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers: STEELERS -8 (UPDATED TO -9.5 BECAUSE OF COVID)❌❌❌
When all was said and done, I ended up going 10-6 in Week 12. This was a very welcomed rebound after going negative last week (6-8), and this marks the 4th time this season I have finished a week with double digit winning bets. For those reasons, cue up the obligatory Johnny Drama GIF
But it wasn’t all high fives in Week 12, seeing as a still had 6 losses, so let’s take a closer look at what went wrong in those games
WEEK 12 LOSS RECAPS
CARDINALS (-2.5): I already voiced my frustrations with The Patriots last week, but I’ll reiterate it quickly: I hate how bipolar this team is this year. If you’re gonna suck, just suck so that as a fan I can know to bet against you. Instead, they’re playing this sort of half good/half bad football that makes betting on or against them impossible. I think from here on out, I’m gonna fade The Patriots. That way, I can be happy either way because either my bet will win or The Pats will win FINAL SCORE: 20-17 PATRIOTS
BROWNS (-6.5): Honestly, I didn’t watch much of this game. Can you blame me? I was mainly watching The Pats/Cards game, but I saw the important stuff and that was all I needed for this game to piss me off. I saw Baker Mayfield miss that wide open receiver in the end zone, and they had to settle for a field goal instead. Once I saw that, I knew my bet was dead. The Jaguars has their hand on the backdoor with a very tight grip, and they marched down the field and scored a TD at the end of the quarter FINAL SCORE: 27-25 BROWNS
RAIDERS (-3): I mean, do I even need to explain what went wrong here? I’m convinced there must be 2 different Raiders teams at this point, because it just doesn’t make any sense how they can beat The Chiefs in Week 5, almost beat them again in Week 11, and then come out the next week and get blown out by The Atlanta Falcons. I mean for fucks sake, they didn’t even score a touchdown in this game. Make it make sense FINAL SCORE: 43-6 FALCONS
GIANTS (-5): Betting on The Giants this year is risky business, especially when they are 5 point favorites. Nevertheless, The Bengals lost Joe Burrow and I assumed The Bengals wouldn’t be able to keep up and cover in this one. Instead, yet again, The Bengals ripped the backdoor open and scored with about 2 minutes left in the game. Why Cincinnati? Why? FINAL SCORE: 19-17 GIANTS
RAMS (-6): The Rams are starting to give me the same problem that The Falcons have given me for years now. When I bet against them, they play unreal football. The offense is clicking, the defense is impenetrable, and I’m basically sending my bookie the money I owe before the game is even over. But whenever I back them, they shit their pants like a 2 year old that just ate Taco Bell. I guess I just figured they would beat up on this already beat up 49ers team, but I guess San Francisco got just enough pieces back to make this a game. Man I really needed OT here, but unfortunately The Rams made the last second field goal for the W FINAL SCORE: 23-20 RAMS
STEELERS (-9.5): Lastly, the game that took forever to happen. It was originally scheduled for Thanksgiving, and then got pushed back what felt like 1,000 times before they finally played on Wednesday afternoon at 3:40. My original Steelers -8 bet got cancelled because of the rescheduling, and I should have taken all of these weird variables as a sign to change my bet. Instead, I stuck with Steelers and went -9.5. RGIII and Covid-riddled Ravens player a lot better than I think anybody expected, and The Steelers just couldn’t get the separation needed to cover in this game FINAL SCORE: 19-14 STEELERS
I wish I could skip over this last part, but let’s take a look at my recurring teaser play that always manages to lose every week. My Why Not Teaser for Week 12 was
-Raiders +3.5❌
-Rams +1✅
-Packers -2.5✅
-Seahawks +.5✅
This one seemed like a lock, but alas that embarrassing performance by The Raiders killed this teaser. I honestly don’t think any of these teasers have won since I started doing them, and it this point it’s just hilarious. Annoying as fuck because they are costing me money, but still funny
And that’s that. Another good week to add to my resume, and this moves my NFL record for the season to 100-74-4. In short, I’m on fire NFL-wise, but unfortunately I’m getting terrible on college basketball and football, so it all evens out
I’m working on my picks for Week 13 right now, and I’ll post those either later tonight or tomorrow morning
Week 1: 8-8☑️☑️☑️
Week 2: 8-7-1✅✅✅
Week 3: 9-6-1✅✅✅
Week 4: 10-5✅✅✅
Week 5: 7-7☑️☑️☑️
Week 6: 11-3✅✅✅
Week 7: 7-7☑️☑️☑️
Week 8: 5-8-1❌❌❌
Week 9: 8-6✅✅✅
Week 10: 10-3-1✅✅✅
Week 11: 6-8❌❌❌
Week 12: 10-6✅✅✅
SEASON RECORD: 100-74-4
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