I’m a lot later than usual this week posting this blog, and I blame that on getting caught up in the Thanksgiving festivities. It’s sort of hard to write up this recap when I’ve been stuffing my face with leftovers and drinking more than usual over the past few days, and even though I’m still doing those things, I’ve decided that I do need to get this blog up at some point so here I am

We’re already 2 games into Week 12, and should be 3 games in but the Steelers/Ravens game got postponed. But before I completely set my sights on Week 12, I need to reflect on what happened in Week 11, so let’s take a look at how I did

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THURSDAY

Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks: SEAHAWKS -2.5✅✅✅

SUNDAY

Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints: SAINTS -3✅✅✅

Cincinnati Bengals @ Washington Football Team: BENGALS ML❌❌❌

Detroit Lions @ Carolina Panthers: PANTHERS +3✅✅✅

New England Patriots @ Houston Texans: PATRIOTS -2.5❌❌❌

Philadelphia Eagles @ Cleveland Browns: BROWNS ML✅✅✅

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Jacksonville Jaguars: STEELERS -9✅✅✅

Tennessee Titans @ Baltimore Ravens: TITANS +7✅✅✅

Miami Dolphins @ Denver Broncos: DOLPHINS -3❌❌❌

NY Jets @ LA Chargers: CHARGERS -8❌❌❌

Dallas Cowboys @ Minnesota Vikings: VIKINGS -6.5❌❌❌

Green Bay Packers @ Indianapolis Colts: PACKERS ML❌❌❌

Kansas City Chiefs @ Las Vegas Raiders: CHIEFS -6.5❌❌❌

MONDAY

LA Rams @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: BUCS -3❌❌❌

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When all was said and done, I went 6-8 in Week 11. This is only the second time all year I’ve had a negative week, the other being Week 8 when I went 5-8-1. No Johnny Drama GIF this week. Instead, here’s a more accurate Simon and Garfunkel GIF

So what happened last week? Where did it all go wrong? Well, I’d say it all went wrong in the 4 PM games. If you look at my results, I was cruising after the 1 PM games with a record of 6-2 on the week once those games finished. But then, it happened. Once the 4 PM games kicked off, my Week was essentially over. I went 0-4 on the 4 PM games, which I don’t think has happened to me all year. Then, I lost both SNF and MNF, meaning I went 0-6 to end the week and took what looked like a sure positive week and turned it into a negative one

Let’s take a closer look at my losses from last week

BENGALS (ML): This game was a toss up to me, but I decided to trust Joe Burrow and The Bengals to beat Washington on the road. The Bengals aren’t as bad as their record makes them seem, and even though there is a lot of work to do, this was a very winnable game. Unfortunately, Joe Burrow suffered a brutal leg injury (Torn ACL, MCL, and structural damage) and that pretty much killed any chance this bet had. Washington had the clear advantage now, and they outscored the Bengals 13-0 in the second half. FINAL SCORE: 20-9 FOOTBALL TEAM

PATRIOTS (-2.5): I know that I shouldn’t complain because they’ve given me 20 years of dominance, but being a fan of The Patriots this year has been tough. Not because they aren’t that good, I could deal with that. The thing that has been tough is that they are playing in such a bipolar way. If you’re gonna suck, just suck, so that at least I know not to bet on you. Instead, this Patriots team will play a terrible game one week, and then come out and play a great game the next week. It makes betting on or against them so difficult, and when you add my fandom into it, it becomes completely impossible. No joke, I think I might flip a coin to decide if I bet on The Pats or not this week FINAL SCORE: 27-20 TEXANS

DOLPHINS (-3): Betting on The Dolphins over the past month or so has been a lot of fun, and they’ve made me a lot of money this year. I knew it was going to come to an end eventually, but I was fully committed to riding this wave until it completely crashed. That crash came in Week 11, when The Dolphins were simply unable to get any sort of offense going against The Broncos. Tua looked kinda lost out there, and even though The Broncos weren’t exactly racking up the points, it was enough to keep them in the lead. Fitzmagic came in at the end and had a chance to tie the game up, but he threw a pick and that was all she wrote. FINAL SCORE: 20-13 BRONCOS

CHARGERS (-8): Out of the 8 losses I had last week, this is the one that pissed me off the most. First of all, I don’t know how they let The Jets score 28 points while only scoring 34 themselves. This should have been an easy cover, but that isn’t what made me mad. At the end of the game, The Chargers were up by 8 and I had accepted this bet as a push. But then, The Chargers tried to get cute and go to the back of the end zone to run out the clock instead of kicking the ball off. They fucked up the play and ended up getting a safety, making the score 34-28 now, and they had to kick it off anyway because there was still time left! Unreal kick in the nuts, especially on a week when I needed all the help I could get. FINAL SCORE: 34-28 CHARGERS

VIKINGS (-6.5): I know I just said The Chargers loss pissed me off the most, but I guess I forgot about this game. What the fuck happened here? The Vikings have been cruising lately with Dalvin Cook putting up insane stats and even Kirk Cousins has been playing great and looking like he’s worth the money. Then they run into a 2-7 Cowboys team that seemingly hasn’t done anything right all year, and this is the team that beats them? I couldn’t believe my eyes when it came to this game. And I know it technically came down to the wire and they only lost by a field goal, but it felt a lot worse than that. Plus this ruined some parlays and teasers I had going, so maybe that’s why it stung so bad. FINAL SCORE: 31-28 COWBOYS

PACKERS (ML): Okay, I know I keep saying “This game is the one that pissed me off the most”, but apparently every 4 PM game pissed me the fuck off. I have no idea how The Packers managed to lose this game. Green Bay was up 28-14 at half, and then apparently they forgot there was still a second half to play. Including OT, they got outscored 20-3 in the second half. Not exactly a good formula to win football games with, so I wish they told me they were only gonna play 1 half before I bet on them. FINAL SCORE: 34-31 COLTS

CHIEFS (-6.5): I thought my misfortune would end after the 4 PM games, but I was wrong. I decided to lay the chalk with The Chiefs on the road in this one because I figured this would be a revenge game for Week 5, when The Raiders beat The Chiefs outright at Arrowhead. Instead, it was just like Week 5 and The Raiders played a great game. As explosive of an offense as The Chiefs have, their defense fucking sucks, and I think that gets swept under the rug a lot because Mahomes is so good. Regardless, they didn’t cover, and I wish The Raiders won this game out of spite. FINAL SCORE: 35-31 CHIEFS

BUCS (-3): I am helplessly addicted to The Bucs at this point, and I need one of you to step up and stage an intervention. The Bucs, similar to my Patriots, are like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. One week they look like a Super Bowl caliber team, and the next week they are getting 3 and outs on every position and their defense couldn’t stop a pop warner team. It’s unreal dude, and it doesn’t help that Brady is either elite or looks like he’s never thrown a pass before. The worst part is I knew Rams were the right play, but I was still butthurt from earlier in the year when I was backing The Rams a lot and they kept screwing me, so I went with Bucs at home instead. But that’s it: Bucs are officially on probation with me and I won’t be taking them until further notice. FINAL SCORE: 27-24 RAMS

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I wish I could end this blog right here, but unfortunately there is one more loss I need to talk about: My Why Not Teaser. Here was my teaser from Week 11

-Steelers -5✅

-Vikings -.5❌

-Chiefs -2.5✅

-Dolphins +3.5❌

These have just become comical at this point, because they never win. I am a little glad that 2 of these didn’t hit though, because every other week it has gone 3/4 and that’s way more frustrating. If it’s gonna lose, I hope all of them lose, because getting screwed by 1 game hurts way more

And that’s that. Week 11’s 6-8 record moves me record for the season to 90-68-4, so I can still live with that. Sure it was a shitty week, but I’m still positive and profitable overall, and that’s all that really matters

Here’s to hoping I can rebound in Week 12, seeing as I’m already off to a great 2-0 start. I’m working on my picks right now, and I should have that blog up either tonight or tomorrow morning

Week 1: 8-8☑️☑️☑️

Week 2: 8-7-1✅✅✅

Week 3: 9-6-1✅✅✅

Week 4: 10-5✅✅✅

Week 5: 7-7☑️☑️☑️

Week 6: 11-3✅✅✅

Week 7: 7-7☑️☑️☑️

Week 8: 5-8-1❌❌❌

Week 9: 8-6✅✅✅

Week 10: 10-3-1✅✅✅

Week 11: 6-8❌❌❌

SEASON RECORD: 90-68-4

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