So one of the big internet stories from this week was that John Schnatter, better known as Papa John, found his way back into the public eye for the first time since being ousted as the CEO and spokesperson of the pizza chain that he founded and still bears his nickname. He did this through a sit down interview with a Kentucky TV station, where he spoke about a bunch of topics such as the controversy that lead to his resignation, criticisms of the company, and even his plans for the future by saying ,”Stay tuned. The day of reckoning will come. The record will be set straight”. Based on that quote, it’s good to see that he’s moved on from that whole fiasco and he definitely doesn’t hold a grudge toward those that forced him out of the company. Good for you John. Live and let live.
But the big takeaway from this interview was a certain piece of information that John let us know about the current state of his life. In the interview, papa John revealed something about his eating habits lately that sent twitter into a whirlwind of memes.
At the very beginning of the clip, and before he launches into some ominous words about impending revenge that I mentioned above, he casually says that he has eaten 40 pizzas in the past 30 days. Now was he being serious or was this an exaggeration? We don’t know, but let’s say that it is true. Say that papa John really has housed 40 pizzas in the last month. Is that really that weird or surprising? I don’t think that it is. This is papa John we’re talking about here. This guy devoted his entire life to pizza and was the CEO and face of a huge chain of pizza restaurants, so the fact that he loves pizza seems like it goes without saying. That’s why I don’t get why people are reacting to this news as if it’s groundbreaking. This is pretty much like if The Cookie Monster sat down for an interview and said that he ate a bunch of cookies over the last month.
Plus, is eating pizza every day for a month really newsworthy? If so, I better start rehearsing for my sit down interview with the local news because I don’t just think I would be able to do this, I know that I can. Maybe this will be my ticket to finally getting some traffic to this site. Pizza is one of those consistently good foods that has so many topping combination options that it’s pretty much impossible to get tired of it. Taking that into account, eating 40 pizzas in a month seems like a pretty easy thing to do, especially if you’re unemployed and in the midst of depression like Papa John currently is.
So what’s the consensus here? Does anybody think I’d be able to pull this off and eat 40 pizzas in a month? I’m sure the haters, of which there are many, would say no, but their hate only motivates me. I know you guys don’t know a lot about me, but by using the context clues from my “I’m getting fat” and “I hate the gym” blogs, along with my well documented gambling and drinking habits, it should paint a pretty accurate picture that I have zero self control and certainly have the body type for this type of challenge. I guess the only way I could see this being difficult would be if I could only eat Papa Johns pizzas. The last time I ate papa Johns it tasted like they dumped an entire container of expired, store bought tomato sauce onto a piece of cardboard and then microwaved some Kraft singles cheese on top of it and brought it to my house. “Better ingredients, better pizza” my ass.
I guess what I’m saying to Papa John is that I believe that he ate that many pizzas, don’t think it’s that odd, and I also accept the challenge that he unofficially offered me. When you break it down further with some simple math, it’s only 1.3 pizzas a day. 11 slices of pizza a day?I could do that in my sleep. There’s no time to waste here, and even though I promised myself I would go to the gym today, I think staying home and ordering a pizza (possibly 2) would be a far more beneficial use of my time. So basically, it’s on Papa John. You think you’re the king of eating large amounts of pizza in 30 days? We’ll just have to see about that. Who do you think you are? I AM!!!!