Hidden in the secluded and barren desert of Lincoln County, Nevada lies one of the most protected and secretive locations on the planet: Area 51. Listed on the books as nothing more than a remote US Air Force base, it’s location and exclusivity has sparred rumors and conspiracy theories for years now. The most common of these theories is that Area 51 is where the US Government conducts all of its supposed alien-related research. Now that might sound far-fetched and crazy to some people, but recently the US Navy confirmed that videos from 2017 and 2018 that allegedly show UFO’s are in fact real, so is it really that outside the realm of possibility that the government does know more than we think about aliens?
Now personally I am an alien believer because I think it’s pretty close minded and dismissive to just say there aren’t aliens. The universe is massive and constantly expanding, so there just HAS to be something else out there besides us. Im not saying these aliens will be the grey, large headed cartoon aliens that usually come to mind, but there has to be something.
However, as far as Area 51 being where all of this alien research is supposedly happening, I am not a believer. For starters, this belief has become so mainstream that even if the government was doing alien research at Area 51, they’re smart enough to have closed up shop and moved all of the aliens to Area 52 or whatever by now. Our government might be stupid, but they aren’t that stupid.
The reason why I’m writing a blog about Area 51 right now is because I’m bored as shit at work, but in addition to that, it’s because this Friday is September 20th. “Uhh, so?”, some of you might be asking yourselves. Allow me to remind you all of something. In case you’ve all forgotten, September 20th is the day that millions of Facebook users are scheduled to storm Area 51.
If you truly are out of the loop on this, let me catch you up really quick. A few months ago, some guy created a Facebook event called, “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All Of Us”. It was obviously meant to be a joke, as they even added that their strategy should be to have everybody Naruto run to the gates to dodge all of the government’s bullets. At random, he picked September 20th to be the date that this raid will happen.
Here’s an interview he did with the local news a few months back when this whole fiasco was at peak popularity. And yes, he is exactly like you would imagine he looks like.
Being the internet, this Facebook event went viral as fuck and close to 2 million people said that they were interested in storming Area 51. This lead the US Government to be forced to prepare for such an event, which is hilarious to me. The Air Force sent out memos reminding the public that trespassing near Area 51 is illegal and lethal force can be used. One hilarious thought to me is that at some point, some high ranking military general had to be sat down and briefed on this whole situation. Some 5 star general who has survived years of combat and sacrificed his life to military service had to prepare his men for a possible assault because of a Facebook group. Laugh out loud funny. What a world.
Another great thing that came from all of this was a plethora of funny Area 51 memes, many of which are what helped this event grow. I saved a bunch of them from earlier in the summer when this meme frenzy was going on, and I’ll probably attach some to the end of this blog.
In recent days, the creator has come out and said that he hopes nobody actually does this. He said it’s a really stupid idea to actually storm Area 51, and he has even taken down the original Facebook event page in an attempt to deter people from doing it. But he might be too late, as he mentioned people have messaged him saying they are “Willing to die” in order to storm Area 51, large crowds have already gathered near Area 51, and 2 Dutch YouTubers were arrested earlier this week for trespassing near Area 51 .
So will this plan go down as intended with millions of people Naruto running toward the gates of Area 51? I doubt it. 99.9% of the people that said they were going to this Facebook event were like me and only said yes because it was funny. That being said, will a select few idiots actually try storming the gates and up getting arrested or shot? I certainly hope so. I know that seems harsh, but sometimes you need to let Darwinism do it’s thing. Out of the 2 million or so that RSVP’d to the original event, I bet a tiny percentage were dead serious and will show up ready to overtake the US military and hang out with aliens.
The only way to find out if this happens or not is to wait, but I’d be lying if I said the anticipation wasn’t killing me. I feel like a kid trying to sleep on Christmas Eve, and hopefully I wake up tomorrow morning and find out that 100 lunatics really did Naruto run toward the Area 51 gates and got lit up with machine guns by military police. That would be a Christmas Miracle. Maybe I should have made the trip to Nevada though, seeing as I was at Dave and Busters last weekend and put on a goddamn clinic on the Area 51 arcade game.
As promised, here are some of my favorite Area 51 memes that I managed to find on my phone. And to those of you reading this from the Nevada desert that are on the fence about storming Area 51, just know that I believe in you and fully support your decision to die in the dumbest way possible.