If you clicked on my Week 1 Betting Results blog from last week, then you know that I didn’t exactly get off to the hottest start this season. In fact, and by paraphrasing the lyrical brilliance of Andre 3000, a polar bear’s toenails would be considered less cold than my picks were in Week 1. 

But since I’m a self-destructive moron who loves repeatedly engaging in the give and take, up and down magic of sports gambling, I wasn’t about to let a shitty week keep me down. It wasn’t my first, and it definitely won’t be my last. If you won every bet you made, it wouldn’t be gambling.

So I came back out with my Week 2 picks and had a much better showing this time around. Let’s take a look at how I did.

THURSDAY

Tampa Bay Bucs (+6.5) @ Carolina Panthers (-6.5): PANTHERS -6.5 SCORE: 20-14 BUCS (LOSS)

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SUNDAY

LA Chargers (-2.5) @ Detroit Lions (+2.5) CHARGERS -2.5 SCORE: 13-10 LIONS (LOSS) 

Indianapolis Colts (+3.5) @ Tennessee Titans (-3.5): TITANS -3.5 SCORE: 19-17 COLTS (LOSS) 

Jacksonville Jaguars (+8.5) @ Houston Texans (-8.5): TEXANS -8.5 SCORE: 13-12 TEXANS (LOSS) 

San Francisco 49ers (+.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals (-.5) 49ers +.5 SCORE: 41-17 49ERS (WIN)

Buffalo Bills (-2.5) @ NY Giants (+2.5): GIANTS +2.5 SCORE: 28-14 BILLS (LOSS) 

New England Patriots (-18.5) @ Miami Dolphins (+18.5): PATRIOTS -18.5 SCORE: 43-0 PATRIOTS (WIN) 

Dallas Cowboys (-4.5) @ Washington Redskins (+4.5): COWBOYS -4.5 SCORE: 31-21 (WIN)

Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) @ Green Bay Packers (-2.5): VIKINGS +2.5 SCORE: 21-16 PACKERS (LOSS) 

Seattle Seahawks (+3.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5): STEELERS -3.5 SCORE: 28-26 SEAHAWKS (LOSS) 

Arizona Cardinals (+13.5) @ Baltimore Ravens (-13.5): CARDINALS +13.5 SCORE: 23-17 RAVENS (WIN) 

Kansas City Chiefs (-8.5) @ Oakland Raiders (+8.5): CHIEFS -8.5 SCORE: 28-10 CHIEFS (WIN) 

Chicago Bears (-1.5) @ Denver Broncos (+1.5): BEARS -1.5 SCORE: 16-14 BEARS (WIN) 

New Orleans Saints (+2.5) @ LA Rams (-2.5): RAMS -2.5 SCORE: 27-9 RAMS (WIN) 

Philadelphia Eagles (-.5) @ Atlanta Falcons (+.5): EAGLES -.5 SCORE: 24-20 FALCONS (LOSS)

MONDAY

Cleveland Browns (-2.5) @ NY Jets (+2.5): BROWNS -2.5 SCORE: 23-3 BROWNS (WIN)

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When all was said and done in Week 2, I ended up going the very definition of even and finished 8-8.

Now although my winning percentage for Week 2 didn’t exactly look like the score on the top of an asian kid’s math test, I’ll gladly take going 50% and losing no money over what happened last week (I had to clock in 7.5 hours of overtime just to get back 3/4 of the money I lost, so you do the math). In fact, I made some money because I hit a nice little parlay in the afternoon games (Chiefs -8.5, Bears -1.5, Rams -2.5) so that’s a big plus for this week.

 It’s far from perfect, but this was the bounce back that I needed to recover from the week from Hell and before heading into Week 3 (Which looks like it’s going to be brutal).

This brings my record for the season to 11-32, which is absolutely terrible but not completely unsalvageable. Believe it or not, I’ve been in worse holes than this, so I’ll be damned if I’m gonna lay down and die without putting up a fight.

I’m putting the finishing touches on my Draft Kings Results blog right now, and similar to last week, I had another solid showing so be on the lookout for that shortly.

I plan on having my Week 3 picks and Draft Kings blogs posted before 5 on Thursday, but that’s all for now. Thank fuck I didn’t lose any money, and we’re on to Week 3.