All good things must come to end. Whether it be The Roman Empire or an awesome shit after holding it in for a long time, eventually things need to reach their completion and the world has to move on. Well it appears that a staple of the sports fan community breathed its last breath recently, and Reddit has banned the popular subreddit /r/NBAStreams.

As a basketball fan and avid gambler, I’m upset. NBA Streams was a great one-stop-shop to watch games in any market, and I’m sad to see it go. But delving even deeper than that, I’m fearful that this may be the beginning of the end for similar subreddits and streaming sites. I foresee a domino effect coming soon, the likes of which I don’t think is gonna yield a good outcome for people like me that refuse to pay to watch stuff.

My fear isn’t that far fetched when you think about the fact that all of these streaming sites and subreddits are very much illegal. Luckily, they were still allowed to operate because they were so popular and nobody was getting hurt besides the pockets of billionaire league executives. But apparently they’ve had enough, and the NBA was the first to take action against illegal streaming services. Other leagues will surely follow suit, especially the NFL. I highly doubt the NHL or MLB will do anything, because they’re just glad that people are actually watching. But Roger Goodell’s bitch ass is sure to make a move, and if the Red Zone subreddit gets shutdown, we riot.

And what’s the alternative exactly? Actually pay for NBA/NHL/MLB/NFL packages? Fuck that. I would rather sell my organs to the black market, which ironically would be the only way I’d be able to afford those sports packages in the first place. Plus, illegally streaming and downloading things online gives me a rush similar to a fat rip of meth. If you take this small excitement method away from me, I honestly have nothing left to live for. Depressing, but true.

And for all of you who aren’t sports fans and don’t feel the need to take up arms against this, think again. If you give Reddit an inch, they’ll take a mile. So while it seems like bans on stuff like this don’t affect you now, they will eventually. “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”. I’m not really even sure if that applies here, but it felt cool typing it out.

Streaming things for free is why the internet exists in the first place. I bet Al Gore, the inventor of the internet, is furious to see that his creation has become a land of censorship and banishment. It is up to us as the public to fight back against this tyranny at once. Lest we forget the many heroes that came before us and fought for our right to illegally stream and download things on the web. In one of his more famous quotes, Patrick Henry exclaimed, “Give me Limewire or give me death!”, when he bravely swore his allegiance to the now defunct file sharing platform. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let a Founding Father down, especially after he fought so valiantly for my right to watch any movie or TV show at the click of a button. So how am I gonna avenge him exactly? No idea. But rest assured, something is in the works.

So consider this your warning Reddit. If you don’t begin allowing degenerates like myself to freely view illegal streams on your platform again, there will be Hell to pay. It’d be a real shame if somebody accused all of the Reddit executives of inappropriately touching me when I was a minor. A real shame……