Power In Numbers: A Collective Group Of Losers Have Banded Together To Try To Get Season 8 Of Game Of Thrones Remade Via Petition

Protesting things that we don’t like or agree with is part of being human, just like lying to your dentist about flossing. Whether it be assembling in regard to important things like ending segregation in the 60’s or the minor things that people most often protest about today, The Constitution guarantees us the right to be able to do so.

Now I’ve never really been much of a protest guy, mainly because the idea of walking around in circles with a slogan covered sign and chanting things makes me want to kick my own ass. Unless somebody comes along and wants to ban cool things like beer or porn, I highly doubt I’m gonna be going on a hunger strike anytime soon. I guess I’m an anti-protester in a sense, and just like the brilliant Mitch Hedberg once said, “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it”. What a great joke, and I miss that dude.

Like I said above, there were and still are plenty of good reasons to protest things, but I would say for the most part that this privilege has become more abused than a pocket pussy in a frat house.

A great example of people causing an uproar about something ridiculous is happening right now, and it is gaining a TON of traction online. This past Sunday, HBO’s hit series Game Of Thrones came to an end after 11 years and 8 seasons. The reception of this last season has been less than favorable to say the least. I wish I was kidding when I say this, but it’s gotten to the point that a large portion of the biggest losers the world has to offer have banded together and signed a petition demanding that season 8 be remade with “Competent writers” as they put it.

Like I said, I wish I was kidding about this, but here is a link to the petition. At the time of this blog’s publishing, the petition has been signed by 1,485,651 people, and the signatures just keep rising with each passing second. The goal of the petition was to reach 1.5 million signatures, and at this point it seems like they’ll easily hit that within the next few days.

First and foremost, I should clarify that I (Unfortunately) agree with the petitioners about how bad the last season was. I wish I could completely separate myself from the keyboard warriors that are demanding a re-do of season 8, but there’s really just no getting around the fact that this season sucked as badly as a 16 year old girl giving her first blowjob. My friend asked me to rank the episodes in season 8 from best to worst, and I told him that would be like ranking STDs. In fact, I think I would rather contract all of those STDs and have my dick decompose and fall off than to rewatch how they ended this show. The series finale sucked shit covered ass, and that’s putting it lightly, albeit descriptively. It was just an all around disappointment, so unfortunately I do share some common ground with the very people that this blog is about and making fun of.

But having said that, you are such a fucking loser if you feel the need to support a petition like this and want to have the season redone. Yeah it sucked, but what’s done is done and there’s no point beating this dead horse. I think we can all agree that punching and kicking dead horses is fun in the literal sense, but it is pointless figuratively.

That’s why I’m in such disbelief that almost 1.5 million people have signed this petition so far. I’m sure there’s definitely a margin of error here and that some people are signing it as a joke or whatever, but I know for a fact there are plenty of people in that total that are dead serious about it.

So what’s the end goal here exactly? Do they think HBO is gonna see their little online petition and say, “Wow, 1.5 million losers want us to remake an entire season of our TV show. Get the cast and 100 million dollars together immediately, we need to move fast!”?And speaking of far fetched fantasies, are all 1.5 million people that signed the petition expecting that they’ll be able to workshop a new season collaboratively, and then their stupid fan fiction season 8 redux is gonna be amazing? Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Here’s what I imagine the people that are signing this petition out of complete sincerity all look like while they type “These writers suck” on the r/asoiaf subreddit

I’ll bet dollars to donuts that 99.999% of the people intwined with this petition are just butthurt that what they wanted to happen didn’t, and instead of saying, “Oh well, this fictional TV show didn’t go the way I wanted”, they would rather throw a hissy fit and demand it be changed.

Also, I love this “Competent writers” stipulation that they arrogantly added into the petition. I didn’t like season 8 either, but I think these basement dwellers are underestimating how difficult writing is. This notion that formulating this final season would be a swift and effortless walk in the park is ludicrous. I’ve been working on a screenplay for a few months now, and this is basically where I’m at

Now I’m not sucking my own dick and pretending I’m some Tarantino or Coen Brothers caliber writer or anything like that, but I’d say I’m probably a better writer than most of the average Joes that are up in arms and signing this petition. The majority of people signing this thing have likely never written anything of substance in their entire lives. Despite this, they’re somehow confident that they’d be able to totally nail Game Of Thrones and would have done a way better job. These are the same dipshits that see a pro athlete make a bad play and they think to themselves, “I could have made that play”. No you fucking couldn’t have. Not even on your best day with 3 wishes from a genie and a four leaf clover shoved up your ass.

Well those arm chair athletes have now evolved into arm chair writers. They’ve watched a few TV shows here and there, and now they think they’re ready to jot down some Shakespearean level works in their free time. Yeah okay, whatever you say Joe Schmoe from Little Rock, Arkansas. I’m sure your background in selling insurance or whatever pointless thing you do makes you think that you’re equipped with enough talent to write the final season to one of the most prolific shows of this millennium, but you aren’t. If he or any of these other petitioners were ever given the chance to do so, they’d fail just like they do at everything else they attempt.

Plus, I’m sure the cast would be bursting with eagerness to take direction in this hypothetical remade season from this crew of retarded virgins that signed the petition, especially since their only qualifications are masturbating to GOT fan fiction. These people don’t know shit about writing or making or TV show, yet they’re sure they’d be able to do a better job. I somewhat admire their confidence, but laugh at their lack of self awareness. I bet that 3/4 of the submissions for what they want to happen in the remade season would just be 10-15 minute long scenes of Daenerys and Sansa eating eachother out, which admittedly, I wouldn’t cover my eyes for.

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So that’s that. Season 8 sucked, but the people whining to the point that there is a literal petition about it sucking suck even more. Writing a TV show is hard as fuck, and sometimes you drop the ball like these guys did. Shit happens, but there’s no reason to protest about it like a bunch of pussies. Just grow up and accept that things don’t always go the way you want them to. For example, if I had it my way, the true king would have ended up on the throne at the end of season 8. It didn’t happen, but at least he still holds the title of “Greatest anti-hero” on the best TV show ever made. #GameOfTones

PS: I told a coworker that The Sopranos is better than Game Of Thrones and I thought he was gonna cry. People are weird to defend this shit man, even after that abysmal season and finale.

 

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