Are Classic Christmas Movies And Songs That Everybody Loves Actually Problematic? According To Fucking Morons, Yes

I’ve been a little busy getting into the holiday spirit for the past week or so, and because of the shopping and drinking I haven’t been blogging as much as usual. I’m sure the 1 or 2 people that regularly read my blogs have fallen into seasonal depression as a result of this, but I’m back. It’s Christmas Eve, and I have a few Christmas related blog titles in my drafts that I’ve been meaning to post so here’s one of them. Tis the fucking season, so naturally stores are packed with mouth breathers, flashing decorative lights are giving people epileptic seizures, and TV and radio stations are playing all of the classic songs and movies we all grew up with. Despite their repetitive nature, you would think that everybody loves these annual holiday staples because their names aren’t Ebenezer Scrooge, but that’s where you’d be wrong. In the spirit of 2018, the outrage police have even decided to target these harmless holiday traditions instead of their usual nonsense. The most recent example of this is feminists saying that the Christmas song Baby It’s Cold Outside celebrates rape, but there are plenty of other stupid examples that have sprung up this holiday season.

I guess I’ll start with “Baby It’s Cold Outside” because we’ve all heard and experienced this one firsthand. It’s the classic tale of 2 people that are drinking and want to fuck eachother. Nothing more and nothing less. The part that the offended feminists focus on is how it seems like the woman is being forced to stay, but she’s just being a woman that’s playing hard to get but clearly wants to get fucked. She keeps saying, “I should go” in the same sense that a woman says things like “I usually don’t do this” right before sucking a guy’s dick after the first date. It’s a hesitation move to make it appear like they don’t want it as badly as they really do because they don’t want to come across as easy. People like to get drunk and bang eachother and it’s been that way forever, so let’s stop pointing at songs from the 1940’s and acting like every single thing promotes rape culture or whatever that retarded term is. Moving on from that, another holiday classic that is apparently problematic now is Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer. I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. This animated children’s classic from 1964 encourages bullying, according to fucking idiots. They cite the fact that Rudolph is alienated by everybody for his red nose, even though that’s the entire point of the movie. He ends up being the hero in the end because he learns to embrace his differences by using his red nose to guide Santa’s sleigh, which is a positive message saying that kids shouldn’t feel bad about things that make them different from everybody else. I got it, you got it, but apparently this very simple and good message went straight over the outrage police’s head. They would rather call Santa a bully and say that an animated cartoon from the 60’s is inappropriate because they completely missed the point. There are plenty more examples, but I don’t feel like applying any more brain power to explaining why people that think this way are wrong.

Now I know that the vast majority of people don’t actually get offended by this stuff, but just knowing that people that do get offended by this shit exists angers me beyond belief, mainly because these idiots have somehow managed to bring about change. Radio stations have stopped playing “Baby It’s Cold Outside” due to pressure about it’s supposed rape message. There was talk of TBS cancelling their A Christmas Story marathon because of offensive scenes (Bullying, the stereotypical singing at the chinese restaurant etc.). Can we please stop caving into pressure from the .000001% of people that constantly have a stick up their ass and a complaint to give? Just do what I do and laugh at them. That’s why, and without hyperbole, I think that anybody who gets offended by a Christmas song or an animated movie about reindeers should be killed. Their only Christmas present should be Santa filling a stocking with rocks, beating them within inches of death, and then raping them while “Baby It’s Called Outside” plays in the background. If you fit the above description, you are a loser of unfathomable proportions and I DON’T wish a Merry Christmas. As for everybody else: Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year that hopefully expels the losers from Earth so that all of the normal people can get back to enjoying life.

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