When I posted these picks on Saturday, I mentioned that I had a really bad feeling due to the outcome of the Thursday Night Game between the Jags and Titans. Well boy was I fucking right. I had an abysmal Week 14, and I’m posting these results a day late and well more than a dollar short. Before I dive in any further, lets take a look at just how bad I did

THURSDAY

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (+4.5) @ TENNESSEE TITANS (-4.5): JAGS +4.5 (LOSS) 

SUNDAY

BALTIMORE RAVENS (+7.5) @ KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (-7.5): CHIEFS -7.5 FINAL SCORE 24-27 (LOSS) 

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (+4.5) @ HOUSTON TEXANS (-4.5): COLTS +4.5 FINAL SCORE 24-21 (WIN) 

CAROLINA PANTHERS (-1.5) @ CLEVELAND BROWNS (+1.5): PANTHERS -1.5 FINAL SCORE 20-26 (LOSS)

ATLANTA FALCONS (+6.5) @ GREEN BAY PACKERS (-6.5): FALCONS +6.5 FINAL SCORE 20-34 (LOSS) 

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (-8.5) @ TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (+8.5): BUCS +8.5 FINAL SCORE 28-14 (LOSS) 

NY JETS (+3.5) @ BUFFALO BILLS (-3.5): BILLS -3.5 FINAL SCORE 27-23 (LOSS) 

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-8.5) @ MIAMI DOLPHINS (+8.5): DOLPHINS +8.5 FINAL SCORE 33-34 (WIN) 

LA RAMS (-3.5) @ CHICAGO BEARS (+3.5): RAMS -3.5 FINAL SCORE 6-15 (LOSS) 

NY GIANTS (+1.5) @ WASHINGTON REDSKINS (-1.5): GIANTS +1.5 FINAL SCORE 40-16 (WIN) 

DENVER BRONCOS (-6.5) @ SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (+6.5): BRONCOS -6.5 FINAL SCORE 14-20 (LOSS) 

CINCINATTI BENGALS (+14.5) @ LA CHARGERS (-14.5): CHARGERS -14.5 FINAL SCORE 21-26 (LOSS) 

DETROIT LIONS (-2.5) @ ARIZONA CARDINALS (+2.5): CARDINALS +2.5 FINAL SCORE 17-3 (LOSS)  

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (+4.5) @ DALLAS COWBOYS (-4.5): COWBOYS -4.5 FINAL SCORE 23-29 (WIN) 

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-11.5) @ OAKLAND RAIDERS (+11.5): STEELERS -11.5 FINAL SCORE 21-24 (LOSS) 

MONDAY

MINNESOTA VIKINGS (+3.5) @ SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (-3.5): SEAHAWKS -3.5 FINAL SCORE 7-21 (WIN) 

---

I went 5-11 in Week 14, and in the gambling world we consider that a pretty bad week. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know my bookie and he knows I’m good for the money, I would be checking over my shoulder every 3 seconds and might have bought a train ticket out of town until things cool down. Buy the time the afternoon games started on Sunday, I just wanted it to be over. I felt like a prisoner who was slowly being tortured, and in my agony I screamed and begged for the executioner to hurry up and cut my fucking head off already. These giant, vomit inducing hiccups I’ve suffered the past 2 weeks puts my season record at 104-110. Being under .500 this late in the season is worrisome, and with the holidays right around the corner no less! I’ve been joking about it for weeks now, but if I don’t have a good showing next week I don’t think anybody I know is getting any presents. Now I know some of you are probably thinking that I just shouldn’t bet next week and buy gifts instead, but that would be retarded. High risk high reward, and when I dominate next week and win all my money back, I’ll be able to buy even more expensive gifts for my friends and family. Spoken like a true degenerate asshole. Oh well. We’re on to Week 15