Shuffle Song Of The Day (12/5/18): “As The World Turns” By Eminem

“As The World Turns” is a song by Eminem off of his breakthrough 1999 album The Slim Shady LP. As you can figure out from the title, this album introduced the world to Eminem’s psychopathic alter ego Slim Shady, and this song sums him up quite well. Whether he’s rapping about causing mischief in school or chasing down a fat chick to rape and kill her, Slim Shady is always entertaining from start to finish. To this day I have no idea how Eminem was able to come up with some of the shit he talks about on this album. Rumor has it he was just rolling on ecstasy in the studio during th recording of this album, but even that doesn’t provide an answer. I consider myself pretty creative and I’ve done my fair share of drugs, but I would never in a million years be able to think up some of the scenarios that he does in his songs, let alone rap about it with such perfect sentence structure that it would make an English teacher cum their pants. I guess that’s the difference between a genius like Marshall Mathers and a drunk white kid like me.

Shuffle Songs Of The Day Spotify Playlist


I don’t know why this world keep turning (Yes man)
Round and round
(As the world turns we all experience things in life)
But I wish it would stop and let me off right now
(Trials and tribulations that we all must go through)
I don’t know why this world keep turning
(When someone wants to test us when someone tries our patience)
Round and round
But I wish it would stop and let me off right now

I hang with a bunch of hippies
And wacky tobacco planters
Who swallow lit roaches
And light up like jack-o-lanterns
Outsiders baby, and we suing the courts
‘Cause we’re dope as fuck and only get a two in the source
They never should’ve booted me out of reform school
Deformed fool, takin’ a shit, in the warm pool
’til they threw me out the Ramada Inn
I said it wasn’t me, I got a twin (Oh my god its you! Not again!)
It all started when my mother took my bike away
’cause I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave
After that, it was straight to the forty ouncers
Slappin’ teachers, and jackin’ off in front of my counselors
Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman
Fuck the next lesson, I’ll past the test guessin’
And all the other kids said Eminem’s a dishead,
He’ll never last, the only class he’ll pass is phys ed
May be true, till I told this bitch in gym class
That she was too fat to swim laps, she needed Slim Fast (Who me?)
Yeah bitch you so big
You walked into Big Panties and stepped on Jenny Craig
She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig
Put me in the headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig
I felt the evilness and started transformin’ (rar!)
It began storming, I heard a bunch of cheering fans swarming
Grabbed that bitch by her hair
Drug her across the ground
And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down
Sorry coach, its too late to tell me stop
While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop

I don’t know why this world keep turning (as the world turns)
Round and round
(These are the days of our lives)
But I wish it would stop and let me off right now
(These are the things we must go through day by day)

We drive around in million dollar sports cars
While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards
Outsiders, and we suing the courts
‘Cause we dope as fuck and only get a two in The Source
Hypochondriac, hanging out at the laundromat
Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blonds be at
Dressed like a sailor, standin’ by a pale of garbage
Its almost dark and I’m still tryna nail a trailer park bitch
I met a slut and said “What up, its nice to meet ya”
I’d like to treat ya to a bagel and a slice of pizza
But I’m broke as fuck and I don’t get paid till the first of next month
But if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this next blunt
But I ain’t got no weed, no phillies, or no papers
Plus I’m a rapist and a repeated prison escapist
So gimme all your money
And don’t try nothin’ funny
‘Cause you know your stinkin’ ass is too fat to try to outrun me
I went to grab my gun
That’s when her ass put it on me
Wit’ an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry
I fell through the glass doors
Started causin’ a scene
Then slid across the floor and flew right into a washin’ machine
Jumped up with a broken back
Thank god I was smokin’ crack all day
And doped up off coke and smack
All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse
Now I want to kill her
But so I gotta catch her first
Ran threw alleys, parkin’ lots, and took a shortcut
Saw the house she ran up in
And shot her fuckin’ porch up
Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut
Looked around the room
That’s when I seen the bedroom door shut
I know you’re in there bitch! I got my gun cocked!
You might as well come out now
She said “Come in, its unlocked!”
I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne
And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin’ gay porn
She said “Come her big boy, lets get acquainted”
I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it
She came at me at full speed, nothin’ could stop her
I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her
I started to beg, “No, please let go”
But she swallowed my fuckin’ leg whole like an egg roll
With one leg left, now I’m hoppin’ around crippled
I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple
Just trying to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick
Den den den den den den, go go gadget dick!
Whipped that shit out, and ain’t no doubt about it
It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage
I shouted, “Now bitch, let’s see who gets the best!”
Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death (Ah! ah!)

Come here bitch!
Come here!
Take this motherfuckin’ dick!
Bitch, come here!

I don’t know why this world keep turning
(And as we go along)
Round and round
(Throughout the days of our lives)
But I wish it would stop and let me off right now
(We all face small obstacles and challenges everyday)
I don’t know why this world keep turning
(That we must go through)
Round and round
(These are the things that surround us through our atmosphere)
But I wish it would stop and let me off right now

I don’t know why this world keep turning
(Every day every single day the world keeps turning)
Round and round

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