New England Patriots Acquire Josh Gordon From Cleveland For A 5th Round Draft Pick

So on Saturday night the Browns announced that they were parting ways with Josh Gordon which caused the football world to erupt with eyeball emojis. My instant reaction was short and sweet and I stick by it still

About 2 hours ago Ian Rapaport published a tweet that caused everybody in New England to start simultaneously masturbating

If you aren’t familiar with Josh Gordon he’s had beyond his fair share of off-field problems. Whether it be driving drunk or failing drug tests, he has only played a few games in the past 4 seasons as a result of suspensions. Even knowing all this the phones in Cleveland started ringing immediately from teams looking to trade for him, which speaks volumes about how talented this guy is. The Browns held out, but the Patriots were able to strike a deal: A 5th round draft pick for Gordon.

I was ecstatic, but some people in New England are less than thrilled because they keep living in the past. I’m currently listening to Felger and Mazz (Which is our insufferable local sports talk show) and ofcourse Felger is against this move. He’s whining about how Josh Gordon smokes weed and isn’t worth the risk and blah blah blah. Josh Gordon is unbelievably talented, and it’s a damn shame that what should have been a Hall of Fame career is in jeopardy because he failed some drug tests. Anybody that is against taking a chance on this guy is a moron. His salary for this year is only $790,000, so why the fuck not take the risk? Worst case scenario it doesn’t work and we cut him. Best case scenario him and Brady have some chemistry and we have another Brady to Moss dynamic on our hands. Just look at this freak of nature’s stats that he accumulated in between suspensions and with absolutely garbage QB’s in ClevelandScreen Shot 2018-09-17 at 4.11.19 PM.png

I tweeted about this right when I got the news and I still stand by what I said. Sign him, hire somebody to keep an eye on him and stay out of trouble, and BOOM, we just solved our receiving issues. The thought of having Gronk, Edelman, Hogan, Dorsett, and Gordon as targets for Tom Brady is making me cum so thank God that Bill and Kraft made this happen. Getting high is cool but having a chance at winning a ring is better, and hopefully Josh Gordon sees that and keeps his head on straight now that he’s in a position to make that happen. In the business world we call this high risk high reward, and I know I’m not alone in saying welcome to New England Josh.

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