Alright guys, quick little story to tell since I’m drunk and currently getting ass raped betting wise. I went to the Red Sox game yesterday, and needless to say I had a few beers during said game. At the bargain price of 10 bucks a beer Fenway Park legally robbed me for the 7 innings that they served alcohol, but this unfortunately wouldn’t be the only robbery of the day. Keep in mind this was a 4 o’clock game, so you can imagine that by 2 AM I wasn’t exactly as sober as a nun. After the Canelo/GGG fight I ended up at JJ Foleys in the South End. Anybody from the area knows how funny of a place that is, so I figured I would mention it. Anyways, left JJ’s at about 2:30 to head to my buddies place in Southie, which is wicked close to where I already was. There was a shitload of cabs out front and he lives nearby so I said, “Fuck it” and decided to take a cab instead of waiting for an Uber. I asked the guy how much it would be and he said 10 bucks. Okay, kinda steep considering how close my friend’s apartment is, but I was drinking a beer I’d snuck out of the bar in the backseat and couldn’t give less of a fuck about money at that point. The trip takes like 5 minutes max, and when it comes time to pay I ask once again how much it is, because I now notice that the meter wasn’t running at all during the drive. He turns around and says “40 bucks”. I thought he was fucking with me, but the look on this what I assume was a Pakistani man’s face said otherwise. I told him I’d give him the original amount of 10 bucks, and added that if not he can “Go fuck himself” as I so eloquently put it. He turns down my offer and now I know we’ve got ourselves a western standoff. After trying to negotiate a little more and gaining no ground, I gave up and tried to get out of this dickhead’s cab without paying because I didn’t have time for this hustler’s games. Worse comes to worst we fight, and this guy had the body type of an anorexic jockey so the alcohol in my system wasn’t afraid to possibly throw hands with this midget over a cab fare dispute. But I couldn’t get out because this guy locked the doors, which just turned this misunderstanding into a kidnapping in legal terms. He starts flipping out about how if I don’t give him 40 bucks he’s gonna call the police, which wouldn’t have been a bad idea seeing as he was now literally holding me captive in the backseat. However, I was also drinking a beer and had a bag of blow in my pocket, so maybe calling the authorities wasn’t exactly the best idea. I told him if he didn’t unlock the doors I was gonna kick the window out (Complete bluff), to which he finally obliged, let me out, and drove off after yelling a few obscenities. That asshole thought he was gonna pull a fast one on a drunk kid, but he picked the wrong Drunk White Kid.
I laughed it off at the time and still sorta do now, but this whole thing has gotten me thinking about cabs and Uber and all that shit. I don’t know about other cities but Boston has this guilty conscience toward cab drivers that I can’t fucking stand. Always trying to cut them slack and limit what Uber/Lyft can do when in reality cabbies are scumbags, case and point what happened to me last night. All this woe is me stuff towards cab companies is complete bullshit for a number of reasons. Cabs spent years and years overcharging people for their smelly rides because they thought they were invincible. Then finally a company like Uber came along with way better service to even the playing field and cabs had no solution to fight them off. Uber and Lyft are way better, and the public knows it, which is why cabs are suffering. “But Drunk White Kid, cab drivers are people too. How else will they survive?” the idiots are likely exclaiming. Here’s an idea: Quit driving a cab and become an Uber driver if you love driving people around so much. You’d probably make way more money and generally have a better experience doing so, which is why it’s nuts to me that cab drivers even exist anymore. They’re more often than not shadier than the inside of a tent and their cabs always smell like a homeless guy has been living inside of it when it’s not in use. Cabs are a dying industry and capitalism said so, and anybody that advocates for anything pro-taxi these days is a few brain cells short of an aborted fetus. Would you rather climb into a smelly yellow van driven by an immigrant yelling on his cellphone during the entire overpriced ride, or would you rather get into a BMW with an AUX cord and free water/gum? Easy choice right there. In summation, fuck taking a cab. I’d rather crawl to my destination than get in one of those things ever again, and given my probable BAC during the course of the story, I’m surprised I wasn’t already crawling like Leo in Wolf Of Wall Street