Lets Talk About Serena Williams Real Quick

I”m gonna start this off with a bit of a disclaimer. I swear that I tried my hardest to not weigh in on this whole fiasco, but after seeing awful take after awful take I was really given no choice. Serena Williams has been the elephant in the room (Is that considered a racist thing to say in 2018?) for the past week or so for her embarrassing performance at the US Open. If you somehow don’t know what I’m referring to, all you have to know is that Serena was losing, committed multiple infractions and was penalized, threw a temper tantrum about it, and ultimately lost the US Open to 20 year old Naomi Osaka. Should be the end of the story right? Nope. Serena Williams immediately started blaming the umpire for her loss, as well as racism, sexism, and whatever other lame buzzwords that end in ism that came to mind during her stupidity riddled verbal diarrhea of a rant afterwards. But by far the worst part of this whole ordeal is that people are actually taking her side in this whole mess. Lose a tennis match, blame everybody but yourself, and become a hero somehow. What a fucking world.

Now I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a tennis expert to any degree. My experience with tennis has been confined to playing Wii Tennis a few times when it first came out and watching Maria Sharapova every now and then because I want her to sit on my face. Having said that, where exactly does racism and sexism fit into losing a tennis match? It doesn’t, yet in today’s world the ramblings from Serena Williams’s mouth about those two words have caused a tidal wave of bullshit that’s bigger than anything Hurricane Florence has in stock.

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The first thing she blamed the loss on was sexism. She claimed that if a male player did what she did they wouldn’t have gotten in trouble the way that she did. She even took it a step further and said that male players get away with way worse than what she did. Well Serena, if that’s the case lets takes a look at what you did. You received coaching advice mid match, and her coach admitted to it, which is illegal. She yelled at the judge and threatened him. She told him that she would make it so he never refs another tennis match again, adding that he’s a thief for stealing the win from her. She also slammed her racket on the ground like a child. She is a cunt, which isn’t a a tennis foul per se, but just thought I’d include it while we’re naming her faults (Tennis pun, get it?). Men get punished in tennis all the time you drama queen so shut the fuck up about male tennis players getting away with murder on the court. Johnny McEnroe, remember him? The original bad boy of tennis would get penalized more often than he didn’t. In fact he received so many penalties one time that he was disqualified from the entire tournament. Fabio Fognini was also kicked out of the US Open last year for yelling at a female umpire. Wait Serena was that also sexism? I mean a female umpire penalizing a male player sounds pretty relevant to your case. Oh what’s that? You get to pick and choose what is and isn’t sexist because you’re a hypocritical piece of shit? Got it. Statistics about Carlos Ramos, who also happens to be one of the most respected umpires in tennis, came out in recent days that show that he seems to penalize pretty evenly across the board regardless of race, sex, or any other excuse you could use. Got anything to say about that Serena? Didn’t think so.

As if the excuses couldn’t get any dumber, Serena one upped her previous cries about sexism with another classic: Racism. She said that racism played a key role in how she was treated at the US Open and thats why she lost. Uh Serena, did you look across the net and see who you’re versing? Naomi Osaka is half-Haitian and Half-Japanese, so wouldn’t this racism you speak of have affected her as well? I also couldn’t help but notice that her Wikipedia page was mysteriously changed after the match to seemingly hide the fact that Osaka is biracial.

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And for anybody that doesn’t believe me, here’s a picture of Osaka as a child

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Hmm, it’s almost as if they don’t want anybody to know of her actual racial makeup. What a weird coincidence. Not to mention the fact that the judge Carlos Ramos doesn’t exactly sound like a white guy to me. I say that because only white people can be racist in 2018, and if you say otherwise you’re being racist. Calling something racist these days is the equivalent of saying “I’m not willing to take responsibility for my own actions and therefore I’ll pawn the blame off as somebody else’s fault”. In short, you’re a fucking idiot if racism is your excuse for anything and everything you fail at in life.

She also exclaimed that she was a mom multiple times and I don’t understand why. She screamed in Ramos’s face that because she’s a mother he owes her an apology for some reason, as if shooting a baby out of your vagina gives you a superiority status of some kind. Are you gonna blame your loss on momism now? Jesus Christ Serena, I’m a drunk that runs his mouth a lot more than I should but even I know when to shut the fuck up. All this aggressive behavior seems to me like a classic case of roid rage. Now I’m not saying that she’s definitely on steroids, but you might wanna have her whip that dick of hers out and piss into a cup just to make sure. This is the integrity of the game we’re talking about here, not that Serena would know anything about that term.

I know this reads like it’s a trash everything Serena Williams blog but I promise you it isn’t. Serena Williams is the best female athlete of all time and I acknowledge that, but her performance at the US Open and her subsequent comments afterwards are inexcusable. She should be ashamed of herself for ruining what should have been a once in a lifetime moment for 20 year Naomi Osaka by letting her emotions and erratic behavior overshadow the actual winner here. She deserves any and all criticism she is getting from this, and fortunately for her she’s getting off easy seeing as mainstream media turned her into a hero for doing nothing more than losing at tennis and throwing a temper tantrum. This also isn’t the first time she’s flipped out at a US Open either, so I don’t why everybody’s acting like her on court behavior was impeccable up until this point. If Serena had any shred of decency in her body she would have acted like the dominant athlete that everybody thought she was by congratulating Osaka and taking the loss like an adult instead of like a baby that didn’t get the toy they wanted. If anybody says that my critique of her in this blog is sexist or racist or whatever suck my balls, but secondly, equal rights equal criticism, right? By me criticizing her the same way I would criticize any male athlete for doing something like this I’m actually being the ultimate equal rights advocate. Feminism for the win!

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(Huge shoutout to the Australian newspaper that published this hilarious and accurate depiction of what happened and then didn’t back down when the outrage mob came after them. Atleast Australia still has a spine)

Also, Paul Joseph Watson made a pretty good video about the whole ordeal and Serena William’s past examples of being a bitch so here it is

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