Nobody Watched The Non-Swimsuit Miss America Pageant This Year Just Like I Said Would Happen

In medieval times you could be burned at the stake for witchcraft if you predicted the future, but thankfully for me this isn’t the 1400’s. A few months ago I wrote a blog about how this year’s Miss America Pageant would not have the swimsuit competition ( and I explained how dumb of a decision this would end up being. Low and behold exactly what I said would happen happened, and ratings were down a whopping 36% in the 18-49 year demographic and was down 18% overall. The people who were watching must have either lost their remotes or died on the couch with their TV’s still on because nobody in their right mind would watch this otherwise. Who would have thought that when hot girls in bikinis aren’t involved nobody would want to watch. Shocking news really.


Like I said in the first blog and will say again The Miss America Pageant was and always has been nothing more than a beauty contest. I know it, you know it, and the contestants all know it. That’s why I’m dumbfounded that the organizer of this thing, who is an unattractive woman by the way, could be so blind to the truth. Did she really think people were watching this shit because they wanted to hear insightful answers about global warming from a blonde from Tennessee that has an IQ of 80? Fuck no, and the ratings bombed accordingly. people only watch the Miss America Pageant because seeing hot women in skimpy clothing will be entertaining until the end of time, maybe even after. Guys watch because they like to imagine fucking them and women watch because they like to be jealous of them while also planning to buy whatever bikini they’re wearing. No matter your gender or reason for watching, it’s the smokes that are basically naked that make you click to the channel and keeps your eyes glued to the screen, not any of the other “skills” they display during the contest.


The #MeToo movement claimed another casualty on Sunday night when it somehow managed to turn a long standing American tradition filled with tits and ass into yet another liberal snooze fest. How many times does this exact scenario have to happen before they notice the common factor here? ESPN, SNL, Hollywood, the list goes on and on. The more PC you get the worse your ratings will be, end of fucking story. The average person is sick and tired of being told what is and isn’t okay and constantly having politics shoved in their faces when all they want to do is be entertained. But hey by all means guys if you like shitty ratings and being disliked by the general public keep it up. The reason they axed the bikini segment in the first place was in the name of feminism, but wouldn’t letting the contestants decide if they want to show off their extremely hot bodies be much more empowering to women? The only chance the Miss America Pageant has of making a comeback is to have a fully nude competition next year. Maybe add in some jello wrestling, pillow fights, pole dancing, scissoring and eating eachother out etc. Now that would be must watch television. Did I just save the Miss America Pageant? I think so. You’re welcome in advance for fixing everything with my more than stellar ideas once again.


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