PSA: Beautiful Women Should NEVER Compliment An Ugly Guy

Are you a beautiful female? Are you at least not horrible looking? Then here’s some advice: NEVER compliment or say anything nice to an ugly male. Ever. No matter what the circumstances are. I’m serious. Unless for some reason you’re attracted to this ugly guy, in which case thank you, we need more of you in the world, DON’T BE NICE TO UGLY MEN.

Worst case scenario is he murders you. Best case scenario is he will become secretly obsessed with you but never do anything about it and you will have no idea. And that’s the truth, Ruth!

But seriously, I’m serious. Today the receptionist at my company told me she liked my outfit today and said I looked handsome and my mind immediately raced to, “does this girl want to fuck me? How can I fuck this girl?” And she wasn’t even that hot (subjective). That’s just how dude’s brains work.

I said, “Oh thank you! And you look pretty good yourself.” Which is a lie, I forget what I said but it was probably awkward stuttering. But my mind, what I instantly starting thinking about was, “Okay I have a chance with this girl now, don’t blow it.” I went back to my office (yea, I have my own office nbd) and started to facebook and instagram creep her, zooming in on bikini pics and imagining myself banging this chick with my 4inch magnum dong.

I will never ask this girl out. I will never compliment her in return, or more importantly, compliment her first. I will avoid eye contact at all costs with her now. I will masturbate to her tonight probably. This is all because I am ugly. Now listen, I’m not UGLY UGLY. I’m not ugly like this guy…

 

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But I am regular ugly, like, 5 out of 10 ugly. Imagine if I was 2 out of 10 ugly. I would probably be a stalker/murderer. And this is what I’m talking about.

Mental health awareness is all hot in the twitter streets these days but be careful who you’re aware of. You might think that ugly guy on the sidewalk or in your office or at school or wherever could use a pick-me-up, a nice compliment by a pretty girl. You’re wrong. That is not what he needs. He needs an equally ugly girl (or guy) who is into him to ask him out first. Because that ugly guy has gone sex-less for years because he’s repulsive and if you know what hope is, then you should know that false-hope can kill a guy, or cause a guy to kill a guy, or cause a guy to kill you for giving him false-hope.

So this is a PSA: if you’re pretty, just talk to pretty people. It’s okay to feel bad for ugly guys, they’re ugly. If you really feel that bad for ugly guys, give them a pity fuck.

Yea, that’s what I thought.

A better idea would be to recruit an equally ugly girl (but not too ugly or that’s just mean) and set them up. That is the only way to combat ugly psycho stalker/murderer/weirdos.

I hope this was informative.

-Budd Dwyer

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