Eminem Released A Surprise Album Called Kamikaze At Midnight

I was about to pass out after yet another 7th inning Red Sox comeback but I’m really glad I didn’t. Eminem pulled a fast one on us and dropped a surprise 13 track album about an hour ago and safe to say the internet is abuzz. Eminem’s previous release, Revival, rubbed a lot of OG fans like myself the wrong way. It was filled with far too much political bullshit over poorly produced trap beats, and to put it lightly, the album sucked some serious balls.

As somebody whose first album purchase was Eminem’s Curtain Call at age 10 (Which must be why I swear like a fucking sailor) I wasn’t interested in yet another political lecture from a celebrity. I know I wasn’t alone in that critique because it’s clearly evident in this new album that Eminem has a chip on his shoulder about how Revival was received by the public. Luckily for us Marshall knew how to counter this by attempting to return to his old self by rhyming words better and faster than Dr. Seuss if he snorted a line of blow.

Similar to a Dave Portnoy pizza review, I decided to give the album one listen before giving it a rating because everybody knows the rule. My final score? 7.3

As somebody who was thrilled to get this grade on my report card, a C- isn’t too shabby. It’s definitely better than the vast majority of other rap albums coming out recently, but it still doesn’t pack the punch that I need. The production is good, thanks to the legendary Dr. Dre as well as Eminem, and there were some creative punchlines here and there, but overall it was a slightly above average album at best. I’m glad that Eminem is getting back to his roots a little bit, but unfortunately for him the bar for rap this year has already been set very high by Pusha T’s Daytona.

Maybe Eminem is just in a “Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t” spot at this point in his career due to how great his old stuff is, or maybe I’m just a cynical Em fan that’s grasping onto the past, but a 7.3 is my score and I’m sticking to it. It’s definitely worth the listen though, and my 2 favorite songs are “The Ringer” and “Not Alike”. Maybe it’ll age like fine wine and get better as time goes by, but I honestly doubt it. Another funny thing to mention is the album cover. It seems like an homage, but I hope Eminem’s lawyer Paul Rosenberg is ready for a lawsuit because I’m pretty sure the Beastie Boys have a good case here.

2 comments

    • Never said the album sucked, I said it’s a 7.3 which makes it an average album. It doesn’t hold a candle to his old stuff and it’s definitely in the lower half of his discography rank wise. If you can’t accept those facts then go fuck yourself fuckyou.com

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