Chicago Mayor’s Solution To Stop Shootings? Simply Ask Gangs To Stop Killing Eachother

Even people that have been living under a rock are well aware of the current state of Chicago. The city has been an absolute war zone for awhile now, but never more than in recent years. In one of the deadliest periods in the city’s history, 72 people were shot and 13 were killed this past weekend, with 25 of those shootings occurring during a 2 hour span early Sunday morning. News of this widespread massacre sparked the same boring arguments and lack of any legitimate solutions that have been going on for years. After much scrutiny, Rahm Emmanuel was forced to make a statement regarding the out of control violence for what feels like the billionth time during his tenure as mayor. His solution this time? Just ask the gang members to change their attitudes and stop shooting eachother.

DING DING DING, We have a winner folks! One of the dumbest “answers” from one of the dumbest politicians I’ve ever seen. Really Rahm, you think that politely asking gang members to stop shooting people like it’s going out of style is the way to fix your shithole of a city? Did you atleast say “Pretty please with sugar on top” when you made this retarded request? Fucking moron. How this guy got re-elected is incredible, but hopefully the people of Chicago are smart enough to vote this turd out and elect me as mayor, because I would turn that place around faster than I cum to Riley Reid POV videos.

My first order of business as mayor would be to address the residents of the South and West sides of Chicago, as they are the ones being directly effected by all of this violence. So dear black people of West and South Chicago: Stop playing the victim and take back your streets. Admit that you are actively contributing to what is happening in your neighborhoods and identify these issues and work towards fixing them. “Why’d you only say black people?” I’m sure many non-observant mouthbreathers are asking themselves, and I’ll tell you why. A quick look at the crime stats will show you that it’s not white kids running around playing cops and robbers with real guns in Chicago. 99.9% of the time it is black kids on the South and West sides that are out there making the city’s murder total look like a good credit score by the time December rolls around. Some people might say that’s racist or whatever, but so be it. Facts are more important than racism, and the truth hurts sometimes so spare me your bullshit comments claiming this isn’t a primarily black issue. It’s time for the residents of these areas to restore their own morality by learning to value life and respect eachother, and all of that starts at home.

The amount of kids growing up in fatherless homes in these parts of Chicago is disgusting. So to all of the black men out there: Instead of “going to the store” and never coming back, maybe you should try to play an active role in your kids life for once. Without you, a gang quickly becomes your son’s father figure, and then because of your cowardly actions by abandoning him, you get to have the honor of going to a funeral home and seeing your son laying in a casket at the age of 16.

Another issue at play is a lack of emphasis on the importance of education. Dropping out of school is a huge contributing factor to why people join gangs in the first place, which is ofcourse where all this violence stems from. I’ll admit that the funding for schools definitely isn’t what it should be in these areas, but some of the blame also lies on the parents. Parents: It’s up to you to force your kids to go to school. If they don’t wanna go, I recommend beating the shit out of them. They might hate you now, but they’ll thank you later when they’re educated and alive.

Lastly, it’s time to start cooperating with police. You guys love to blame the cops left and right for problems that you’ve played a role in creating in your community, but whenever the police show up to a shooting everybody’s mouths zip shut unless they’re opening it to scream “Fuck the police!”. How the fuck do you expect them to solve these murders and get killers off the streets if they’re getting no help from you, the people who saw it all happen and know exactly who did it? Also, why should they even wanna help an area that is pretty openly opposed to their presence and isn’t afraid to express it? It takes a special type of person to continually defend an area that hates them, and that’s why cops hold a special place in my heart. Everybody hates the cops until they need them, and that’s the sad truth.

Also, where’s Black Lives Matter during all of this? Remember those clowns? They’re that group that would riot and destroy cities whenever a cop shot a black man under debatable circumstances. Where are they? You’d think they’d be taking to the streets filled with outrage because of all the young black lives being lost every single day in Chicago, but instead they sound exactly like my backyard on a quiet summer night: Crickets. Whenever there is an anti-violence protest in Chicago it’s always just local groups. Why aren’t they getting any funding or help from Black Lives Matter? They are a national organization after all. Could it be that Black Lives Matter is actually just a bullshit sham of a group that just hates cops like I’ve been saying since their inception? Yes, that’s precisely what they are. Black lives don’t actually matter to Black Lives Matter, and their actions, or I should say lack thereof, have proved that again and again.

I wrote this blog because I really do sympathize with the law abiding citizens of Chicago that are essentially being held hostage. I wouldn’t wanna dodge bullets everytime I left my house, and it’s bullshit that the gangs and politicians in charge have let it sink to the point that it’s at now. So my closing word of advice to the people of South and West side Chicago is this:

1. Try to implement the home and educational values I wrote about above,

2. Vote that moron Emmanuel out of office, maybe even kick his ass while you’re at it

3. Campaign for, and assist, more police patrols. Shit maybe even the National Guard at this point, which is something Trump has hinted at before. Such an idiot and a racist, am I right?

4. Most importantly, get out there and take back control of your streets. When it comes to where you live you should always be proud of it, and a good example of what that should look like is how Big Papi reacted after the Boston Marathon Bombings

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