Massachusetts is filled with more than its fair share of assholes, hence the colloquial term massholes. Lucky for us, local radio hosts Toucher and Rich have decided to reap the benefits of our state’s surplus of shitheads by providing us with some quality entertainment. They’re currently holding a contest to find the massiest of massholes in order to crown the ultimate townie and award them with 1,000 bucks, which they accurately stated can go straight toward buying scratchies. Here’s the tweet and link that started it all:

To the best of my knowledge the contest is still in the early stages, so the full load of submissions hasn’t been collected. Here’s a quick sample of some of the entries so far

Nothing too crazy yet, just the expected Boston sports tattoos and thick accents, but like I said it’s still early. Toucher and Rich definitely have more submissions that I couldn’t find, and they actually had a few of them as guests on the show yesterday and it was hilarious. If the over/under on dropped R’s during yesterday’s show was 50, I would’ve smashed the over harder than Mark Wahlberg smashed that Vietnamese guy’s face when he was a teenager. People don’t forget Mark, especially not Johnny Trinh.

I wrote this blog as more of an intro to the contest for those who didn’t know about it, and I highly suggest following along on 98.5 if you haven’t been. I’ll follow this up with an update at some point in the future, but until then tell all of your asshole friends to send in their submissions using the link in the tweet I posted toward the beginning of the blog. Hell, I might send in a video myself. But unfortunately for me, drunk white kids are a dime a dozen in the Boston area, so my run in the contest would be even before it even started. Bad hit, but I guess I’ll just sit back and let the true massholes battle it out for the crown. Get your popcorn ready folks, because this is gonna be a battle filled with cigarette smoke, the word “wicked”, and stories about how their uncle used to work for Whitey Bulger.