The NBA Is Such A Fucking Joke

The National Basketball Association has become an unfunny joke the past few years and I know I’m not the only person who shares that sentiment. As if the formation of super teams like Golden State wasn’t bad enough, last night they held their award show. I didn’t watch it because I knew it would infuriate me, and what do you know? I was right. Bullshit award after bullshit award was given to the wrong people last night in the most obvious display of how disconnected the NBA is from the average basketball fan. For contexts sake, let’s take a quick look at some of the nonsense that happened last night.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Ben Simmons

Repeat after me: FUCK. THAT. Ben Simmons is an absolute clown and shouldn’t even be considered a rookie in the first place. He also didn’t make a single 3 pointer the entire season, which is embarrassing because if I played an entire NBA season I could probably hit a 3 pointer at some point. He was also virtually nonexistent in the playoffs and only scored one point in game 2 against the Celtics. I wanna be a homer and say Tatum deserve rookie of the year, but in reality Donovan Mitchell is who got robbed.

COACH OF THE YEAR: Dwane Casey

So let me try to understand the NBA’s thinking here: A coach that got fired by his team after blowing it in playoffs is the Coach of the Year? Really? It isn’t the coach who defied the odds and made it to game 7 of the Eastern conference finals with a team that was more injury riddled than a retirement home? I know I sound like a homer here, but anybody who doesn’t think Brad Stevens deserved COTY is a moron.

MVP: James Harden

Now I like James Harden and the impressive run the Rockets made, but come on. I love hating on Lebron as much the next guy, but he singlehandedly carried his team to the finals. At 32 years old he didn’t miss a single game this season, and his stats were looking like he’s 10 years younger than he is. He outdid Harden in every category this season, and the man deserved to be recognized as the most valuable player this year.

Perhaps the only positive moment that came out of last night was this hilarious interaction between Charles Barkley and Bill Russell

Leave it to a legend like Bill Russell to still keep us all entertained at the age of 84. Kings stay kings, and it’s this kind of attitude that led to him getting 11 rings. Keep fighting the good fight Bill, and if worse comes to worst and you get in trouble, just hit them with the classic, “Whoops I’m old and confused”. And if they have a problem with that, just hit em with this

To sum it all up the NBA blows now, and if it wasn’t for my gambling addiction and love of sports I wouldn’t even bother watching anymore. Can’t wait to watch a healthy Celtics team kick everybody’s dick in next season, but until then I’ll continue betting on meaningless regular season baseball games.

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