Trump Wants To Create A New Military Branch Called The Space Force

Love him or hate him, life has been nothing but interesting since Trump won the 2016 Presidential Election. It seems everyday there’s a new quote or policy that makes you wonder if this is actually an episode of Punk’d. The most recent of these ideas occurred yesterday when Trump said he hopes to establish a 6th branch of the United States Military: The Space Force.

Say what you will about the guy, but “It’s not enough to have an American presence in space. We must have American dominance in space” is an all time quote. It’s right behind “I have a dream” and “Orange you glad you didn’t say banana?” in my book. Anybody that isn’t 100% onboard with the idea of having a Space Force is a fucking moron. Have you ever seen Star Wars or played Halo? Well this is how it all starts. Let’s build a giant Death Star somewhere in space and it can act as the official base (Ofcourse remembering to cover up all the weak spots). Screw fighting pointless wars in those Middle Eastern shitholes, let’s go kill aliens and colonize their planets. It’ll be like the Trail Of Tears all over again, except this time it’ll be even cooler because it’ll be in space. I’ve never considered joining the military because I’m an out of shape alcoholic, but if this Space Force thing actually happens I might have to get my act together and enlist because it sounds too awesome to miss out on.

Realistically the Space Force will probably just be a bunch of nerds looking at computers and controlling satellites or some bullshit like that, but the kid in me wants it to be intergalactic warfare so badly. The official uniform of the Space Force should just be whatever Masterchief from Halo wears. Can you imagine suiting up like this to go kill innocent aliens?

My dick is hard just from the thought. Might as well just give me the papers to sign now, because I’m 100% ready to enlist in the Space Force in order to defend my country (Somehow).

Even Trump haters have to admit that this would be pretty cool, anybody that doesn’t think being the only country with a space-related military force is cool has a huge dump in their pants. Put politics aside for a second and just admit that cool is cool, and a Space Force is the very definition of cool.


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