The World Cup kicked off yesterday, and even though the United States sucked too badly to make the cut, my eyes are gonna be eagerly glued to the screen for the next few weeks. My interest in the World Cup isn’t because of my love of soccer, it’s actually because of my known love of gambling. Since I’ve been pretty in the hole with my bets lately, I’ve decided to try out a new fool-proof strategy this year that I thought I’d share with you guys. My plan? Flipping a coin to decide which country I bet on through the entire World Cup.

I don’t know shit about soccer, so any bet I make on The World Cup is just as blind and dumb as Helen Keller was. My “knowledge” of soccer is that there are 2 nets, the games are long and boring, and people who speak Spanish are usually the best at it. That’s about it, and that “soccer knowledge” isn’t exactly the best way of determining who is gonna win. Which is exactly why I’ve decided to let the magic of statistics help me win (Probably lose) money during the World Cup.

I’m not a statistician, but research has told me that a coin flip has a 50/50 result everytime: Heads or tails. Soccer games also have a 50/50 result (Unless it ends in a tie, which is unfortunately common), so a coin flip is a perfect way to predict the outcomes of games I know nothing about. So yesterday, I just sat down and flipped a coin for every matchup of the first round to decide who my money was on. The first team was heads, the second team was tails, and once the coin was done flipping and bouncing around, I bet on whatever country the coin chose.

Your Official Drunk White Kid Coin Flip World Cup Picks For Round One

Russia Vs. Saudi Arabia: Russia

Egypt Vs. Uruguay: Uruguay

Morocco Vs. Iran: Morocco

Portugal Vs. Spain: Spain

France Vs. Australia: France

Argentina Vs Iceland: Iceland

Peru Vs Denmark: Peru

Croatia Vs Nigeria: Croatia

Costa Rica Vs. Serbia: Serbia

Germany Vs Mexico: Germany

Brazil Vs Switzerland: Brazil

Sweden Vs South Korea: South Korea

Belgium Vs Panama: Belgium

Tunisia Vs England: England

Colombia Vs Japan: Japan

Poland Vs Senegal: Senegal

Well there ya have it: 16 (Fingers crossed) winning picks thanks to the power of a flipped quarter. I’ll be doing this for the whole tournament, so expect a follow up blog once round 1 is over. That’s it for now, so wish me and my quarter luck #WorldCup2018