So the police released some videos found on Nicholas Cruz’s cellphone today, and it’s safe to say this kid is just as crazy as you would expect someone who shot an AR-15 at innocent people would be. First of all, I don’t think he understands what past tense is, and being the grammar Nazi that I am, I honestly think that pissed me off more than him killing people did (Not really, but kinda close). His manifesto sounds like I was listening to some retarded kid who was planning to shoot up a school, and I’m starting to think that’s exactly what happened. Florida is basically a black market, so straighten out your gun laws and pharmacies, cuz I’m also tired of my friends OD’ing on oxys from Florida. Also, can the media stop turning these psychos into celebrities? His videos are blatantly obvious that he did it knowing the media would turn him into a school shooting martyr.

I’m a big gun rights guy, but no way somebody this stupid should be allowed to own a gun. This is why I’m surprised this isn’t a major point being talked about in the gun control debate. Per usual, everyone ignores the obvious and I’m the only one who has all the answers. Fuck talking about magazine sizes and particular models of weapons, let’s just stop morons from buying them. I’m talking a basic literacy test and a 5 minute interview to determine if you’re a mouth breather or not before we hand you a gun. The majority of gun deaths are suicides and accidents anyway, and it takes a complete moron to die from either one of those things, so my No Idiot Policy would save millions of lives. Everyday I come closer and closer to running for President because the world needs me, and once I quit drinking (I won’t), I’m gonna take office and save the world one issue at a time.

PS: Fuck Nicholas Cruz, put a bullet in his head and let’s be done with it