May The Turd Be With You

Tomorrow is May 4th, which means everybody that you hate will be saying “May the Fourth be with you” all day, as if they are somehow funny or creative for saying something that is stupid and they didn’t come up with. I fucking hate hearing that pun every year, which is why I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m gonna get out ahead of the pack and invent my own cringeworthy phrase to say every year, and that phrase is “May the turd be with you”, encouraging people to take an awesome shit at some point today.

I’ve been saying it to people all day and it’s safe to say it didn’t exactly catch on. I’ve gotten weirder looks than a naked priest at an all boys preschool, and the usual response at work was just, “Are you drunk again?”. No idea why this phrase hasn’t gotten more popular as the day has gone on. It’s 100 times better than tomorrows stupid overused Star Wars pun, and I genuinely hope that people experience a solid bowel movement at some point throughout the day. Oh well, nobody liked The Beatles or Elvis when they first came out, so I’m gonna give it time. Maybe next year people will see the true genius of this phrase, but until then, happy turd day everybody!

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