I Hope Kids Still Ding Dong Ditch Houses

Spring is finally here in Boston (knock on wood), and this nice weather has me feeling nostalgic about my childhood for some reason. Riding bikes, playing wiffleball, and just being a group of 10 year old punks with my friends on days like today were so fucking awesome. Two of the funniest pranks of my childhood depended on the season: In the winter we’d throw snowballs at cars, and in the spring we would ding dong ditch houses. For all you nerds who don’t know what the latter is, Ding Dong Ditching is something delinquent kids do to annoy their neighbors. You ring somebody’s doorbell, run to a nearby hiding spot, and watch them answer the door to nobody like an idiot. Classic! I’m laughing to myself right now just thinking about it, which brings me to my next point: Do Kids still do this?

My guess is no, because kids are no fun pussies these days. Don’t get me wrong, they are still pieces of shit like we all were, but in different ways. Instead of lighting off firecrackers or stealing candy from the corner store, they just play on their iPhones and are allergic to peanuts. Fucking fairies. They would rather sit inside and play video games than hang out with their friends on beautiful days like this, and that kinda makes me sad. I hate sounding like an old man, but technology kinda ruined kids, and I’m glad I grew up when I did. Time flies man, and here I am as an “adult”, sitting on my ass and drinking beers at 3 in the afternoon. Fun and sad at the same time, but that’s life. Honestly might call up some of my old buddies and go ding dong ditch some houses for old times sake. Who cares if we’re in our 20’s, we’re bringing the tradition back if today’s kids are too chicken shit to ring the doorbells themselves. Here’s a live look at my friends and I tonight when we’re all 20 beers deep at 3 AM.

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