Today Is Earth Day And I Don’t Give A Shit

Happy Earth Day to all the nerds out there that care about the environment.

Listen I don’t give a fuck about Earth. We’re humans bro. We fuck shit up and bounce. It’s what we do. So why the fuck should I give a fuck about Earth. It’s gonna die soon and be uninhabitable if we don’t fix our shit? Don’t believe it. And even if that’s true I’ll give you two scenarios:

One, that is true, but it’s gonna take like what 500 years to make a noticeable difference. I’ll be dead like 40 years from now hopefully so I don’t give a shit. Plus it’s gonna happen crazy slowly and by then we’ll have long figured out how to conquer space and travel to other habitable planets in solar systems light years away from here in half a second. I got faith in you nerds to figure that out. The cool nerds, the smart ones, not the stupid nerds that give a shit about stupid shit like Earth Day.

Scenario two, it happens quick as shit. We fuck up the ozone layer and trash islands are popping up all over the place and dolphins are dying and forrest fires are killing animals and glaciers are melting and our land mass has been cut in half and all those coast cities are dead along with 90% of the people who lived on them and I’m probably dead too so fuck it what do I give a shit? I think we need something to happen to wipe most of us out anyway. Survival of the swiftest boys the better of us will keep the torch burning. All for that.

And it’s not like I don’t like Earth. I love Earth! Big fan of it. But no offense I treat Earth like someone you don’t know’s house you go to to party at college. You like the house, and respect the house, but your gonna fuck that house up and leave shit permanently broken and destroyed all in the name of having a good time. You let those nerds that live in the house to deal with the fixing up while you go and find a different house tomorrow.


Also this shit’s just hilarious. The you don’t care about the environment bro scene but the whole things just great. Haven’t watched this movie since it came out maybe I’m underappreciating it. Also fuck that kid that turned out to be gay.



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