Boozies with day jobs…
Listen I was at work the other day which sucked, it was 8 o’clock in the morning and I was hungover per usual. My office is on the 9th floor and I walked in and accidentally clicked the 6th floor button, realized I fucked up cuz I’m a retard and hadn’t had my morning coffee yet, and clicked 9.
The doors start to close but I see somebody round the corner and we make awkward eye contact so fuck I’m a nice guy, I hit the open door button and let him in. This fucking asshole doesn’t thank me first of all which is a cunt move, then presses floor 12. He gives the lit up 6 and 9 (accidental but still funny) buttons a look and rolls his eyes. Like a piece of shit, my bad buddy I fucked up act like you’ve never done it before.
The doors shut and the elevator starts its climb. We get to floor 6 and the doors open. Nobody gets in. Nobody leaves. The fucking asshole gives me a half look as if to say “what the fuck did you do that for?” and all I’m thinking is “fuck this judgmental prick he’d still be waiting on the first floor if it wasn’t for how much of a nice fucking guy I am. Nice. That’s all I am, a considerate genius man and I wanna punch this dick in the balls.”
I honestly think about getting off the elevator to cover up the awkwardness but think better of it cuz fuck this guy I won’t let him win. Then we hit floor 9 and I get off. I never see him again. That’s the end of the story.
But question: Why the fucking hell can’t you un-press elevator buttons? Why do no fucking elevators allow this? Wouldn’t this be a simple fix? Doesn’t this make so much fucking sense!!!!!!!?!?!?!!?!1111
(double Will Ferrell for ya)
But seriously am I a fucking genius man or am I a fucking genius man or are people who design elevators simply retarded mole people or am I a fucking alcoholic?
Seriously. Please share this blog with your local congressmen and congress(wo)men so they can change the laws and make elevators catch up with the 2018’th century. This is fucking bullshit am-i rite???!!!!
Also PS why does the elevator close buttons never fucking work fast enough?
And double PPSS if I died in a tragic accident would my family and friends cry or not really give that much of a shit and move on with their lives?
Also if you wanna write for the booze squad hit up our twitter DM’s or shoot us an email that we will probably miss at firstname.lastname@example.org // we want writers and this is the perfect blog to recruit because it’s gonna get infinity views cuz I’m such a relate-able blogger.