Rosa Parks: A Crusader For Justice, But Also A Pretty Selfish Bus Passenger

To explain what I mean by this title, we need to borrow some logic from Louis CK. While on the topic of Louis, let me just say he got treated very unfairly from those accusations. All he did was ask girls if he could jerk off in front of them, which is consensual and also pretty fucking hilarious. I don’t think it’s fair that he got lumped in with the other Hollywood scumbags who actually raped and abused people, and he definitely didn’t deserve to basically lose his career over it. Anyway, Louis CK has a hilarious stand up bit that he calls “Ofcourse, but maybe” that explains what I meant in the title

Basically it means that we all have our main, good thought about something, and then a smaller, darker one about it. So getting back to Rosa Parks: Ofcourse Rosa Parks was an amazing person. She bravely stood up to unfair laws in an extremely racist south at a time that easily could have gotten her killed. She was arrested for standing up for her beliefs, and what she did was a key part of The Civil Rights Movement. She was great. Ofcourse. But maybe………..by causing a scene on the bus that day, she was being a pretty selfish bus passenger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think we can all agree that public transportation sucks, and a bus is definitely the worst form of it. Standing cramped together in a vehicle that smells like piss and body odor is a miserable way of getting from point A to point B. That’s why there’s an unwritten rule when traveling that you aren’t supposed to make it any more miserable than it already is. Don’t bother anybody and definitely don’t do something that delays the trip, both of which she did. When she decided not to move to the back of that bus, it effectively ruined everybody else on that bus’s day. The bus driver had to pull over and plead with her to go to the back of the bus. When she said no again, everybody on the bus had to wait for the police to come and try to get her to move. Now I don’t have a history book in front of me, but I’m sure this altercation went on for atleast like 30 minutes, maybe even an hour. While she was standing up for her Civil Rights, she was also making other people very late to wherever they were trying to go. Overall it was just very selfish on her part, and before taking a stand for equal rights, she should have thought about other people for once. Finally, the police stepped in and saved the day by arresting her. Once they got her off the bus and in cuffs, everybody else was able to go on with their day. I’m sure the entire bus rightfully clapped and cheered that justice had been served. Also, why were black people so mad about having to sit at the back of the bus? I don’t know about you guys, but that’s always where the cool kids sat on the bus when I would take it home after school. Basically society was saying, “Hey black people, you’re cool so you should go sit in the back of the bus”, and they fought for their right to be uncool. Very strange move on their part.

Now I’m sure Al Sharpton is ready to sue me for writing this, but I don’t care what that race-baiting, tax evading piece of shit has to say anyway. Like I said earlier in the blog, I think Rosa Parks was an amazing person. What she did was braver and more important than anything I’ll ever do in my life, and she was a key figure in establishing equal rights in the United States. All that being said, she was also a selfish bus passenger. Her actions caused a scene, inconvenienced others, and made them very late for stuff that day. It’s possible for a person to be 2 things at the same time you know. Take me for example: I’m an alcoholic and an idiot. See how that works? Rosa Parks is a Civil Rights hero, but she’s also somebody I wouldn’t wanna take a bus with. If I was on a bus and I saw Rosa Parks get on, I’d have to call my boss and tell him I’m probably gonna be a little late. He’d say, “Rosa Parks on the bus again?”, and I’d say, “I can’t catch a break sir”, as I stared angrily at Rosa Parks while she took a stand against institutional racism. I wouldn’t stare angrily because I disagree with equal rights, I’d stare angrily because she keeps making me late for work. If she keeps this consistent bus activism up, I’m gonna lose my job. Have a heart Rosa, I’ve got kids to feed! Alright I got way too into that hypothetical scenario there, but I think you get what I’m saying. She just seems like a total buzzkill to be on public transportation with. When I’m taking public transportation I just wanna look at my phone and be left alone, not be subjected to a political protest and all the commotion that comes with it. I bet even black people on a bus with her would be like, “Hey Rosa thanks for the equal rights and everything, but just sit down and shut up like everybody else”.

I know it seems like I hate Rosa parks, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. As far as famous historical women go, she’s actually pretty high up on my list. Next time I’m openly drinking a beer on the bus, I’ll be sure to pour some out for my girl Rosa to show my continued support. I have a bad feeling that this blog is gonna cause Rosa’s ghost to haunt me, and she’s gonna cause some type of delay anytime I travel. Next time I’m on the train and it stops for no apparent reason on the tracks for a couple minutes, I’m gonna look up at the sky and say, “Well played Rosa, well played”.

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