Alright listen up yuh drunk donkeys,

I was boozing last night, as usual, and it dawned on me that America is a dope spot to be. No civil wars, I can call someone a ‘cunt’ and the law will still protect me, women can go in public alone and not be attacked, etc. And then I asked myself why this place is so amazing. To be frank it’s all in the foundation. Look at the leaning tower of Pisa. Thing looks like a dude’s dick who was born addicted to Molly in the middle of Burning Man. But shit, that base work is strong. I digress… hard.

So our first amendment is pretty core to who we are, and its kind of under attack (but no one seems to care). With every PC term that comes out, our vocabulary becomes a little bit more limited each day. The fact that I’m ostracized for not filtering the vibrations that echo out of my facial organ really puts a damper on my personality outside of private places. But fuck it, I’d rather fight for my rights on being able to legally own a gun than talking, because the former is much easier to take than the latter.

Guns… American as FUCK. School shootings and mass murder… UnAmerican as Sharia Law. The easy solution everyone sees to stopping the violence is, of course, wiping the 2nd Amendment out like annoying booger tickling your nostril. But sometimes you pick that booger and your nose bleeds. Taking away the 2nd amendment would be like browsing through the Hub (you know which hub sicko) to find that perfect video, and then you click that sweet sweet thumbnail just to find out your dream girl has a cock bigger than yours. Shit looks good on the outside, but once you enter the dragon you realized you fucked up.

An America without guns would get raped from all angles by China, North Korea, Russia, etc. Those badass countries don’t have the nuts to come walking the streets of our patriotic towns and states, because they know behind every door is a pissed off American just waiting for them. And our government… does anyone really still trust them? The founding fathers wanted a small decentralized government that worked for the people, and the people would control it and grab it by the balls if it got out of hand. Now the government wants to take the people’s last line of defense that we have, and from there we won’t have power.

God, I sound like a fucking doomsday prepper.


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