If Stephen Hawking Was So Smart How Come He Couldn’t Walk?

So listen Boozies,

Been a couple days to the two people who like White Kid’s posts and not mine. I gotta be honest and bear my heart here for a quick post. I haven’t been drinking so much lately. I’ve been smoking too much bud. weed ,pot. The devil’s lettuce.

Anyways Steven Hawking died today. To be honest I thought he died like 10 years ago. One of those people who just looks like they died a couple years ago. Ya know the type? Like Dick Van Dyke or my aunt Carolyn. My fellow boozer White Kid threw out his Weekend at Bernies theory and I’ll be thinking about that for a while. Good points made. If he’s been alive all these years than how come he never did anything memorable?

To be honest I have no idea what he did. I’m pretty sure he was a scientist and like split the atom or something, invented a bunch of cool science equipment or BREAKING: my roommate just told me he founded black holes and the big bang theory and proved them or at least was the onewho created the theory of relativity or something. The theory of everything. So props to him, I bet he was really smart, back in the day, like when he was in his 30’s back in the 40’s. He wasn’t smart for his famous years in the wheelchair and we shouldn’t pretend he was.

If Stephen Hawking was so smart than how come he couldn’t walk or talk? How come he couldn’t cure ALS? Why was he spending so much time on black holes and relativity and literally EVERYTHING but the one disease that was making me not believe anything that he ever theorized? If I met a stud Stephen Hawking walking around with a cane and a supermodel and he told me he solved Lou Gherig’s disease I’d think the dude was smart as shit. But now I hear that a wrinkly old weird wormy looking disabled dude who couldn’t talk typed out that he figured out how the universe started I’d be like whatever dude does your dick work?

Food for thoughgt.

stephen-hawking-chicks

EDIT: Also I know this post needs editing but this is a time senstitive blog and must go up and I don’t wanna sleep on it and wake up sober and censor my drunken beliefs.

Drunken Diary Day 1: What did Stephen Hawking even do?

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