Happy International Women’s Day: Since People Are Talking About Changing The Second Amendment, What About The Nineteenth Amendment?

What up to the boozeheads,

Now I don’t like to talk politics. Not a politic guy. But with all this hippity-hoop-la being thrown around these days I think it’s time to amend one of the most important amendments there is.

Now I’m pro-choice. Open book, here. I think if you wanna kill babies growing inside of you you should have the right to do that. Some little rat fuck living rent free inside your uterus eating your food and taking shits out of your vagina? If you want to evict that low-life scum you should be able to have the choice to sling a wire clothes hanger up there and pick it out piece by piece, or trip down a large set of stairs, or even dare I say go to a professional who can suck that fingernail having fetus out of your snatch with a quick wave of his magic wand. I don’t know how abortions are done, but I imagine they involve some drugs and some magic. Bottom line is if you want to murder your unborn child, I’m with ya. 100%.

I also support women’s rights to own and buy guns. Call me a feminist. If women want to buy guns I say let em. The only gun control I believe in is having their husbands/fathers take their guns away when it’s that time of the month (their period). For obvious reasons. We can’t have our women running around with automatics and a bladder full of uterus blood that was supposed to go to their now murdered fetus. There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

So my question to the political party commonly referred to as the Grand Old Party, if you believe in the right for women to choose to have guns, then why can’t they choose to murder innocent fetuses? Same difference. Sounds like you guys are a little back and forth on the respecting women issue.

And my question to the political party commonly referred to as the Snowflake party, if you think women shouldn’t have the right to choose if they want guns or not, then why give them the right to vote in the first place? I say the nineteenth amendment is preposterous and if the last 98 years taught us anything it’s that if you let women have rights then they won’t know how to go left. Look at Danica Patrick for instance.

For the record I love women. My mom’s one.

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